I'm allowing myself 10 minutes to ramble...

Time flies when you're having fun??

Well, no fun is being had here, but time has run past me so fast that I will never be able to catch up to it.

I thought I'd take time out of my probably self-imposed chaos to write down some thoughts in the most public of fora.

I am still undergoing an artistic block of sorts...I haven't put a single mark to paper, whether real or virtual, for creative purposes...in months.

And the thing that has frightened me recently about that realization, is the fact that I'm not panicking about it. I seem to find creative release by organizing and re-arranging trees and barns in my virtual Farms (yes, that's more than 1). I have completely allowed myself a virtual existence, rather than deal directly with the realities of my current life.

It's just SO much easier to escape and ignore...pretend the crap doesn't exist. So much easier.

But every once in a while an outsider will come into view and make dealing with reality unavoidable, so I get up from my chair and go make dinner, or get dressed to go run an errand for someone else, etc.

But were it up to me, I'd be living in the middle of that little farm away from everyone and everything, absolutely alone...it's a symptom of the depression, I'm sure, but the desire is and remains quite strong for total and complete isolation.

One of the projects that I started recently, was to take all the boxes with all of my belongings, that have taken over the entire house. Sorting through each box, determining whether I can throw anything away and deciding what will go into a newly acquired storage space.

Perhaps getting rid of the clutter will help clear up my mind a little bit? Maybe I will be able to put to paper, all that is floating about in my head again? Who knows.

But my "stuff" started to bother the others in the house and now it's a necessary beast of a project to get done.

It will take me months to finish, because aside from all the other problems I have, I think I must admit to myself that I'm a bit of a hoarder. So that means there's a LOT of stuff to sort through.

No, I don't keep garbage...it's not that bad.

But I see potential art supply in most things that cross my path, so I find it frustratingly impossible to throw things away that might become part of an installation "one day".

[One of the things that is on my ever-growing "to do" list, is to research hoarding in relation to artists. I KNOW there are other hoarding artists out there...it's not just me that does this.]

Anyway, that is what I'm working on...not a drawing, not a painting, just sorting through stuff...my stuff...to appease others that are bothered by my artistic inclinations to want to make art out of it.

[Another thing I have on my "to do" list, is to research artistic blocks. I'm curious to know the longest block the occurred before a series of masterpieces were created by that artist. Does that make sense? It does to me, so I guess that's all that matters, lol]

OK, that's enough of a break.

Til next time

Georgia O'Keeffe...

The movie last night on lifetime, stirred something within me.
I was sobbing throughout most of it, pretty uncontrollably at times.

I recognized myself within her. Especially lately, I have been feeling an intense longing to be free and to be alone...so that I can work. I've had somewhat of a creative block due to a bad depressive episode that does not seem to want to let go of me this time around.

I've been feeling sorry for myself, of course...I cannot deny it.

But the unseen forces that keep me in the dark, cannot let me catch even a glimpse of hope, that I might be able to actively pursue the path that will start my journey to a new life. What's that saying? Can't see the forest for the trees?? (or something like that). I know there's light out there, but I cannot imagine that even a little piece of it belongs to me.

When (in the movie) Georgia mentions that she had an 18 month period where she couldn't create, I jumped in my chair. I suppose as a former art student, I should have known this already? But it comforted me...because I instantly felt that I wasn't alone. I'm NO O'Keefe, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am an artist in my own way. The fact that she was able to restart her life, despite not really wanting to in the depths of her being, showed a courage that many will never know.

I understood completely.

I can admit to never having been drawn to O'Keefe's work, because obviously I never paid attention to her story. At that time they were just giant flowers and landscapes to me (oh what youth and lack of life experience will cause you to miss in life!)

I see now the significance of her imagery...the symbolism...her desires...her frustrations...her sadness...her desire to once and for all be alone, so she can create and leave behind her unique perspective of the world.

I understand perfectly.

OK, I'm back...

I feel ashamed that I've abandoned my blog in this manner. I mean really, since April???
Well, I DO have a "somewhat" good excuse...it's called YouTube.

I've been making videos on there and have been pulled into that world, in particular the world of makeup.

WHAT????

Ana getting sucked into a world of makeup?

What the hell???

Well, yes...although, if you really knew me, you would know that I'm a girly girl, always have been...always will be. And I've always been a fan of makeup, but after watching and now participating in that wonderful world on YouTube...I've become a bit of an "aficionada".

It's VERY addictive, because it's as "live" an interaction with people as you can get...outside of actually meeting them in person. It's just been a wonderful experience for me and it came at the right time, because I've "met" some wonderful people that I would have otherwise never known even existed.

So with that being said, yes...I have been making "makeup" related videos, entering makeup contests and even hosting my own (one right now, actually), making VLOGS (traitor!) so the updates about my life have been happening over there.

I promise (pinky swear) that I will be updating my blog on a regular basis from now on. I've got to also give some lovin' to my etsy shop (especially since I need the $$...hello!!).

I don't regret the time I've spent on youtube...but I definitely need to get back on track and putting priorities in order. I HAVE been updating my website, with the latest work (I'll do another post on that with pictures, next) and news, etc...so at least THAT is updated.

I have lots to say, but have to step away for a little bit, so I'll leave you for now.

If you're new to my blog and are interested in knowing more about me, then I highly suggest that you PLEASE go back to older posts and read up a storm (there's lots of info in this blog about my life for the past 3 years).

Thank you for reading and I look forward to blogging for you (and me, of course) again.

HUGS!!
♥Ana

I've abandoned thee...

I apologize to my blog and to my faithful readers, um I should say reader (you know who you are, lol), as I know that I have not been posting here for a while.

What good excuse can I come up with? Don't really have a "good" one, but I've been spending more time on Facebook (you traitor!) and have been "tweeting" there. Um, well, I've also abandoned my Tweeter thingy too. and I guess you don't "tweet" on facebook, you...what the heck is it called? I guess you just "post"? Anyway, Facebook is easier, as it limits the amount of words I can put, otherwise, I'd write a book.

Anyway #2, I've been busy getting ready for the show "Organic Expressions" at Rex Art (opens on April 9) , so that's kept me busy. I also have a piece (self portrait) in a show in Lauderhill, FL titled "me, me, me, me, me" (which opens on April 18th). I'm going to be a participant/vendor in an Earth Day event at the University of Miami on April 22 (they invited me, so that was pretty cool). In June, I plan to be an artist/vendor at a Comic Book convention (yes, can you believe it?) Well, I was also invited to participate in that and although it's a bit scary (it's a loooong 3 day event), I think it will be an interesting (if not fun) experience and I'm getting old (meaning that I should try different opportunities that come my way, before I croak). What??

So you see there's lots of things on my plate, but still don't have an official job job (maybe that's a blessing, although it doesn't seem like a blessing when I need $ lol). I'll just have to trust that there's a bigger plan for me (that old "faith" kicks in every once in a while).

OK, now I'm just rambling...so I'll end this. I'll upload pictures soon of some of the new pieces for the exhibit.

Toodles.

Latest paintings...

These are the last two pieces I did.
They're so tiny! (I really can't wait to work big again)

This one is the latest in the "reproductive" series (for the April exhibit at Rex Art)


©"ovaia difettosa" (2009)
- watercolor, marker, liquid acrylic on canvas (5"x7")


© "ovaia difettosa" (2009) bottom view

And this one is from yet another series (what the heck am I thinking? I'm so restless and just can't seem to take a series to fruition before starting another one...oh well)

This is the second and I don't know what I'm calling the series yet (I'm still mulling it over)


© "Processor" (2009)
- Watercolor, liquid acrylics, ink, paper on balsa wood

new painting, for the exhibition in April

I'm working on a series of small paintings about my reproductive system, for the exhibition in April. Call this an internal self portrait, if you will, lol.

I had done the first one on wood a few months ago (which I don't think I'll be using in the exhibit, since it will probably be the only one on wood - not sure yet).


© "bridge to nowhere"
(ink, acrylic paint on wood, 2008)


The second - a small diptych on canvas... (click to see larger image):


© "Procreant Vesicle,2"
(watercolor, liquid acrylic on canvas, diptych, 2008)


Just finished this one yesterday:



© "ineffectual womb"
(liquid acrylics and watercolors on canvas, 2009)


I'm liking these a lot! Yay for my useless reproductive system (lol)!

had another dream this morning...similar to the previously mentioned one

I want to understand the purpose of this, I truly do. It just makes no sense to me why everything is pulling me in that direction again.

what is it???

I have no unfinished business in Alabama...so what's the deal?

Of course, I ask, just because...for I know no one will have the answer for me.

I just haven't written here in a while and thought I'd clue you in.

I'm so tired lately, have so much fatigue, it's insane. And my left foot has been swelling more than it ever has (kinda funny, since "my left foot" is one of my all-time favorite movies, lol)

Anyway, I'm sure I'll think of something else to update "you" on.

tata for now.

in dreams (new poem)

I had such a vivid dream, that I woke with a smile and felt refreshed...
then reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

I started writing to try and "exorcise" the ugly thoughts and this poem is what resulted.
Haven't written like this in a long time, so it's interesting to know that I still have words
that can be put together to make some sort of sense.

Anyway, here it is:

in Dreams

In that first instant of lucidity

The world makes sense once more

Bringing back the familiarity of you

Your smile, your words, your strength.

How real it all seemed

That moment captured in time…frozen

Revealing a bond once so real

With the purity of my heart…

A heart which no longer beats,

For fear of the pain that might arrive.

In waking moments only dread reminds,

That never again will I love.

In that second instant of lucidity

The reality sets in.

That only in dreams will I be happy

Only in dreams did you exist.

Yes, it's sappy...oh well.

sometimes I wish I had been inclined to doing landscape paintings.
I believe that my life would have been much easier...my artistic life, that is.

just saying...

Not mad anymore...

OK, so I had a good cry last night and feel better today. I was just disappointed at not being one of the recipients...but I've moved on and am focused on other positive things for me.

- I completely forgot to mention that in April, I will be in a 2 person exhibit in a small gallery here in Miami.
- Also in April, I'll have a piece in a show titled "me, me, me, me, me" (artist self-portraits).

- Tomorrow, I'm sending in an application for an artist residency and there's a few other things I'm looking into.

So you see, there are some good things happening and THAT is what I should be focused on, 'cause I am very aware that there will be plenty of rejections (um, I'm used to those) before the good stuff happens (yeah, I'll have to keep reminding myself of that).

I'm glad I was able to vent yesterday...I think that also helped me or else I'd still be crying, lol.

I've been trying to figure out how to get more traffic to my shops and lets face it to get more SALES! I'm so discouraged, it's not even funny.

I see the advice given by self-proclaimed experts on etsy and it seems to be overwhelming. The amount of time needed to "promote" is insane.

I just can't do it...I don't have the stamina. I mean, when do these people create? Do they have time to breathe? Do they do anything else other than promote??

I also refuse to do all the spamming that others seem to be ok with. Whether it's on Twitter or Facebook or blogs or any of the seemingly trillions of "social-networking" sites...it seems to me that everyone just talks about what they listed in their shops, or what sales they have,etc.

What about telling me that you're craving a chocolate chip cookie? Or just telling me that you're going out for a walk...I don't know, tell me something about yourself, rather than trying to shove your shop up my arse.

See? This is probably why my shops aren't doing well, because I just absolutely refuse to be one of those people. It's not who I am.

I just wish the universe would step in and throw me a bone, without my having to sell my soul.

You know???

New piece

I finished this one a few days ago. It's weird, but I really like it.
Can you feel a series coming along? Yes, me too, lol.

I'm actually thinking if I get in to the Virginia show I applied to, and they like them, I'd do a series of these for that exhibit. I've decided that I will think positive in regards to any artistic "happenings" that might come my way. I'm only applying to exhibitions/opportunities that I truly believe I can get. If I have any doubts about something, I just won't bother. Why torture myself?

Anyway, wish me luck!

Here's the new piece:


© "Enabler" , liquid acrylic, pen, paper on balsa wood, 2009
4"x4"


Here's the second one in progress, no title yet:



I'm really enjoying these small pieces. They're tiny, but powerful (in my opinion).

OK, that's all for now...have a humongous headache.

New ACEO's

I did these ACEO's a couple of days ago.
ACEO = Art Cards, Editions and Original. Miniature works of art, the size of a trading or playing card -2.5 x 3.5 inch.



© "Parasitic Fungi,1" (pen, marker on watercolor paper, 2009)


© "Speak no EVIL" (pen,marker on watercolor paper, 2009)


©"Dancing Hearts" (pen,maker on watercolor paper, 2009)

mystery man

I rarely have dreams that leave me feeling good or positive...yes, it's a problem.
I usually only remember and am severely affected by my nightmares.
I've probably mentioned this before, but you know the kind...people chasing me with knives, through dark corridors, or dark abandoned cities or running me off cliffs or...well, you get the picture.

Anyway, this morning I awoke from such a pleasant dream, that my brain decided to make me forget the details (of course). More specifically who the man in my dreams was.
I do remember that we were having conversations about something (how specific Ana!). Whatever! It's not important.
What is clear is that he was in love with me. Sappy, I know, but considering that I've given up on that "stuff", I think it's pretty interesting. I haven't seen any lovey-dovey movies lately...so that couldn't have seeped into my brain.

I knew this person. I mean, I know this person...in real life...but my brain has erased who it is.
I just know that I know, you know? (lol)
There was a strange familiarity and comfort about the presence of this person in my dream.
I remember how "I" felt when he smiled at me.
I remember that I found him very attractive (that's good, right?)
I remember how I felt when he touched my hand and when he leaned in to whisper something in my ear.
I remember the intense "butterfly effect" I felt when he looked at me. (How come I have never experienced that in real life? sheesh. well, I did one time...).
I remember that we needed to wait, for some reason, to tell people about us (does that mean he's married? geez louise!!)
I remember he had dark hair (VERY interesting, since I've always been drawn to blondes).

I just don't remember what he said, what he looks like or what's his name.
Just Wonderful!!!

Bleh, whatever, I'm not ready for that "love stuff" anyway...I'm a mess. But it would be nice to think about it at least, no??

I'm rambling. I just wanted to write about it (in this very public forum, mind you) so that I wouldn't completely forget about my mystery man.

"Smile! Polaroid is saved!!!"

A businessman plans to rescue the abandoned format for the sake of art.
Emily Dugan reports (Sunday, 18 January 2009)

For a generation, the Polaroid camera gave near-instant pleasure to millions of users around the world, chronicling everything from births and weddings to the downright explicit. But when digital photography came along in the 1990s – with instant images and the ability to edit and delete pictures before they see the light of day – Polaroid was doomed, its iconic white-framed snaps apparently defunct.

When Polaroid announced last February that it would stop production of its instant film, it seemed the much-loved camera was gone forever. But within weeks, a group of users had started a global campaign for the format to return. And now, thanks to an unlikely saviour, their pleas have been heard.

Click here for the entire article.

Yipee!!

Valentine Pendants

Here are some new pendants, just in time for Valentine's Day.
I hope to get a few more done this weekend.

New ART pendants

I've just begun to list these pendants which I finished a few days ago. I thought I'd try to print miniature versions (edited) of my digital prints, to make pendants out of them.
I like the way they look and figure, it would be cool to wear art around your neck.
Here's hoping that lot's of other people think it's cool too!
Lol

Here are some that I've listed today:

As I sit here typing this, while watching beloved Bob Ross on the Joy of Painting and after having just browsed through several art & artist blogs (just to torture myself of course)...

I am keenly aware of how stifled and suffocated I've been feeling. My inability, for varying reasons, to act upon my inner desires to be free of any and all superfluous obligations is beyond frustrating. I want to be my own person, to be able to act and decide, without having to explain or justify why.

It's no coincidence that I find myself staring, studying and envying the birds that occasionally visit my balcony.
Oh to be able to fly away!
And to think that they probably have no idea how fortunate they are.
Lucky little birds...

I'll be OK, Fabric Art Doll

Finally listed "I'll be OK" in my shop.

Here are a few pics that I don't think I've posted here yet (I think?)

I snagged a treasury on etsy!

It's full of lovely felt items.
Click picture below to see more details.

Here is a list of the included Etsyans shops, so you can see what other lovely things they have!
♦ shagpile ♦ marysusan ♦ calexandra
♦ tijusai ♦ sypria ♦ corrieberrypie
♦ stemellina ♦ vaivanat ♦ studiokarma
♦ maisyandalice ♦ arabela ♦ nikairo

Here are the alternates:
♦ karlita ♦ kaleidoscopestyle ♦ echoesofstars ♦ nervoussystem

Latest Fat Girl - Digital Illustration

So I finally finished the latest Fat Girl piece, which I've titled "Stuck". I had a heck of a time finishing this one and I'm not 100% sure about it. Gotta live with it for a while. But I wanted to share it with you (whoever sees this, lol).

I'll try to list it soon in my shop.
Click on it to see the details a little better.
Enjoy


© "Stuck" (2008, digital illustration)

- She's "stuck" in supposed paradise. But look at the stormy skies...not so pleasant. The number 3 is prevalent and probably not obvious:
- 3 years represented by 3 heartstrings, 3 chains (her mind, her voice, her hand), 3 blue flowers.
- The grass is always greener, isn't it? And she's trying to grasp it from where she is. Maybe it will bring sunshine and freedom to her world.

Metallica is back, baby.

hey, I just realized that I never told you how much I absolutely LOVE Metallica's new album, "Death Magnetic".

Although I don't like the title at all - it just doesn't flow easily from my lips, you know? But gosh darn it I LOVE the songs!

I wasn't terribly excited about St. Anger, even though I bought it and listened to it (trying to convince myself that I could grow to love it and never quite did).

But with this album (yes, I know album...I'm old ok?) my boys are BACK!

I seriously can't wait until they're touring close enough for me to go see them again.

Love, love, love the new album and highly recommend it.
Love, love love Metallica....they make my heart happy.

I'm all twitterpated...

I admit that I'm not quite sure what the purpose of this is...but I joined anyway. I guess I'll be using it to update stuff about my shop, etc.

So if you'd like to follow me on twitter, click here.

thanks.

New'ish Abstract Paintings - Small wall squares

I finished these a few weeks ago, but just now got around to photographing and posting them in my shop.

I hope you enjoy. They sure are colorful aren't they??


"Abstract 2"


"Abstract 6"


"Abstract 3"


"Abstract 5"


"Abstract 7"

Quarter Pounder with Cheese

I wish that when I was having emotional "issues", I could be comforted by Broccoli or Salad.
Noooooo, my body and mind go straight for a hamburger or chocolate.

Why is that???

I was going through yet another box-o-stuff and found the Flairs (pins) that a few of my favorite servers at Outback in Tuscaloosa had given me...along with my University ID Card from when I taught one semester as an adjunct.
I looked skinny! I didn't feel skinny, but... I remember that day. I was fidgeting with my shirt, because I thought it was a little snug. It wasn't, but my mind told me it was. I remember worrying about how I looked, especially because right before the photo, I ran into Andy, one of the cute Outback servers and he had complimented me - said I looked nice...and that was it. Instead of accepting the compliment and letting it sink in and making me feel more confident and good about myself...it had the total opposite effect and I was so distracted that I didn't smile. You should see this picture...looks like I've just been given a death sentence.

I'm a total mess! I mean, I was the closest thing to happy when I was up there. Can you imagine? No, of course you can't, because I should have a team of psychiatrists examining me!

Anyway...thus the quarter pounder with cheese!
Geez Louise!

New Digital piece

I had a moment of inspiration and decided to take advantage of it, so I stepped away from my pity party long enough to work on a new digital drawing, for a new series I've been wanting to work on for a while, based on the alphabet. You know the typical cutesy drawings for a childs room...A is for apple, B is for whatever...
Well, this is my own semi-twisted version of that, of course.

Hope you like it...I'll be putting these pieces in my etsy shop as they are finished.


"© A is for Altered" 2008

this was Grey Thursday...

hee
teehee
teeheehee

I've been adding items to my "supply" shop for a few days now. I've mentioned this before, but its such a tedious process! From taking photos, editing, listing, weighing to get shipping prices, packaging...it's an exhausting process. But at least I'm on my way to getting the shop filled and in the meantime I sold 2 items from it already (yay) I'm hoping I sell it ALL, as I really want to clear up some space and maybe recoup some of the money I've spent.

So click on the photo and browse around, you might just find something you want!
I'm adding items on a daily basis at this point, so make sure you bookmark, so you can come back.



>

So, I've decided that I'm going to sell most of my unused supplies, plus some that might be considered "vintage", as I've kept them for many, many years.

I need to make drastic changes and this is the beginning. By clearing up space around me, maybe I'll find a corner or a wall to be able to work on my larger pieces that I've been longing for.

Maybe this "cleansing" will work to help other areas of my life that need a good overhaul, as well.

In the meantime, while I work on taking photos and creating a shop just for my supplies...I have a Pre-Holiday Sale in my AnamanoCrafts shop.

ALL items have a 20% discount...so if you're looking for a one of a kind gift, stop by and take a look. I'll be adding some more items soon to the shop.

goodness gracious

i miss making my big pieces. i crave working "big" so desperately, i
just can't bare it any longer.

yes, i have enjoyed the digital work tremendously, but its not satisfying me.
neither is the cutesy crafty stuff.
i need to have my hands in it, need to be able to touch the work, make mistakes
that i can attempt to erase...but never quite accomplish, because the faint lines
always remain, my soul needs to empty out onto a surface large enough to contain it.
the digital stuff, the jewelry, the cute dolls...it's just not doing it for me.
it's not enough...i'm not satisfied with anything.

------------

i've been having vivid dreams about Alabama again.
old 'bama friends have contacted me recently.
my mind keeps floating back there, after I worked SO hard to get it out of my system.
but it's so clear in my mind, as if i had just left yesterday.
i want to go back...
there...i said it.

a wedding, some sadness and fun stuff...

On Saturday I went to my friend Christine's wedding and it was SO lovely.
She looked absolutely stunning.
It's wonderful to see her so happy and I'm glad I didn't chicken out of going (you know...me, with lots of people around can be a problem sometimes).
But I had fun and I'm so glad I got to be a part of her special day.
I can't put a picture of her here without her permission, but here's a photo of the cake.
It was beautiful AND sooooo delicious.


I don't really have much to update in terms of art right now...
I've been really down again lately...not related to politics (I think?) nor anything else new.
It's the same old stuff, lingering, lurking, hanging around me, just refusing to let me go.
It's begun to affect me physically more and more. I have constant fatigue and just feel eternally sad. I'm glad I have moments like the wedding or the other stuff lately to distract me a little bit.
So I bear it as best I can...which is barely, but I'm trying to stay afloat. Living from grey's to grey's (I'm serious when I say it's all I look forward to nowadays. Yes, it's as pathetic as it sounds).

Anyway, I'll post some of the newer necklaces-n-stuff, I've made recently, since I haven't shared much of that lately.

enjoy...

These necklaces were fun (well all the things I've been working on are fun to make)...now I just hope that someone wants to buy them as a gift for someone or themselves, lol. Or else, everyone I know will be getting my jewelry -n- stuff for Christmas!

I have recently posted these in my shop and will be posting more within the next few days.

I say this every week, so you should be used to it, but...

Grey's Anatomy is just unbelievably fantastic.
It's practically the only thing that keeps me breathing.
I'm not kidding.

Best thing EVER...

"The treatment of Bush has been a disgrace..."

By Jeffrey Scott Shapiro of the Wall Street Journal (← click to read entire article)

"...The treatment President Bush has received from this country is nothing less than a disgrace. The attacks launched against him have been cruel and slanderous, proving to the world what little character and resolve we have. The president is not to blame for all these problems. He never lost faith in America or her people, and has tried his hardest to continue leading our nation during a very difficult time.

Our failure to stand by the one person who continued to stand by us has not gone unnoticed by our enemies. It has shown to the world how disloyal we can be when our president needed loyalty -- a shameful display of arrogance and weakness that will haunt this nation long after Mr. Bush has left the White House..."

Mr. Shapiro is an investigative reporter and lawyer who previously interned with John F. Kerry's legal team during the presidential election in 2004.

birds of a feather, flock together...

Today, while on the phone with a friend, I noticed a black bird outside (don't really think they're crows, but maybe) with a lollipop in it's beak! I guess it was his post-halloween treat!

Here are some photos, which aren't the best, because I was holding a phone, while trying to take photos...but they give you the idea of what was happening.

He was first on the cable with the lollipop in it's beak, trying to tear through the plastic. But then he dropped it and he continued on the ground...















At one point there were a few others that wanted to join in on the fun...






But he was having none of that!




Eventually he was able to break off a piece and started eating it!
That just canNOT be good for them, right?? Anyway when the others
got a bit more aggressive, he flew away with the stick, with some candy still on it.


And here's a couple photos of other birds that have visited my balcony this past week...



Isn't he beautiful??

cute joke...

I just got this joke in an email and I thought I'd share it.

So, I hope you enjoy:

----------------
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife:
"Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'slim fast'. Maybe it
would take a few inches off your butt!"

His wife was not amused and decided that she simply couldn't let such
a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the hell is this?', he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared
when he shook them out.

"April", he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in
my underwear??!"

She replied with a snicker: "It's not talcum powder, it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!"

------------------

Hari, folklore and a bunch of birds

Hari,my last remaining betta fish died last night.
It's the strangest thing. He was perfectly fine and it was only yesterday evening that I noticed he didn't want to eat.
For the last few weeks, I've been giving him one pellet during the day and another in the evening...so that he doesn't overfeed (as bettas tend to do).
I noticed he didn't want to eat and he seemed to have some labored breathing, but he didn't seem to be that bad, as he was swimming around a bit. Usually when they're sick they will stop swimming or swim lopsided, etc.
So I thought I'd have to do some treatment today if he seemed worse,etc. Well, I took off the towel I covered his tank with (so he could have darkness) and he was lifeless on the gravel.

It's something I won't ever get used to...

I'm thinking that I won't have any more fish, but then I remember something my mom has always said.

OK, you're all going to think this is weird, but bare with me.

There are superstitions that are passed on from generation to generation and this one is no exception. My mom has always told me that her mother and grandmother and great-grandmother,etc. always said that it's best to have an animal in the home, a pet, etc...because if "death" passes over your home and is coming to "take" someone, it will choose an animal, if it's available, instead of a person.

Yeah, I know.

It's folklore that has always been on the back of my mind, ready to go into my artwork. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.

Anyway, I've always had all sorts of pets, despite my severe allergies to most of them. I just love animals...so much that for the longest time I thought I would be a vet (but a high school teacher squashed that dream when she told me I wasn't cut out for it, because that field was "too" competitive for women and I would have to be a genius in science, etc....yeah, talk about traumatic...lol)

I've had dogs, cats, a duck, mice, hamsters, chickens, a squirrel (yeah), fish, parakeets, guinea pig...well, you get the picture. But inevitably pets pass away and there's a transition period when there aren't any pets in the home, etc.

It's during those "transition, pet-less" periods that I get really nervous about "death".
The folklore inevitably has seeped into my system so much that I start having "death fog" and "strange-knock-on-the-door-that-when-opened-reveals-cloaked-man" nightmares....yeah, lol.

Anyway #2

I've mentioned the abundance of bird references and experiences in my life recently. Now is the time that birds migrate down south and there are tons of them down here (almost seem like the same ones every year).
I happen to love watching them as they swoop down in formation and end up filling the electricity cables all along the street. I enjoy watching them interact with each other and how they move, etc.
There are these other tiny birds, just a little bit bigger than hummingbirds that have been coming to my balcony to visit (I wish I knew what kind they are). First it was a couple and they investigated the plants and checked themselves out in the reflective glass (one even tried fighting with his own reflection...too cute).
This week there have been about 5-6 that come on a daily basis. They take dust baths (well, actually "potting soil" baths and they get inside the potted plants...my guess is finding bugs to eat? They're just too cute for words and they calm my nerves significantly. I could seriously watch them all day long.
Thinking about the folklore, I might consider feeding them....wouldn't that "technically" make them my pets?
Hmm, have to mull that one over a bit, 'cause I don't want them pooping all over my pretty balcony.

Here's a terrible photo of one of the first visitors.

The quality isn't very good, because that "film" on the window has a grainy quality from the inside.
But I'll try to take more and post them here.

Goodness gracious...I love Grey's Anatomy!

It just makes everything better.

What?

It's true!!

hee, army doctor is back!

teehee

teeheehee

"Say" by John Mayer

I was trying to write a poem and the words just were not coming the way they sometimes do, then I found these lyrics and realized that the sentiment I was trying to expound upon was already out there in the universe.

Pretty amazing...

---------------------------------

Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walkin like a one man army
Fightin with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for getting older
You better know that in the end its better to say too much
Than to never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Why?
Say what you need to say

I kinda laughed when I re-read my post from Friday.
It's interesting to know what's on my mind at 4:30 in the morning, when I'm exhausted.
I was so tired...I have no idea how I even logged on to write anything.
So rather than deleting it, I felt like I should just leave it.
Why not.

Oh and the event yesterday was pretty much a disaster...so I've decided that I will
not be doing any more "fairs" or festivals for now.

I really need to focus and get myself together.

This is one of the "auto-drawings" I did during some of my lunch hours in 2006.
The originals are pen/ink on sketchbook pages.

I scan these original black and white drawings, then add color and alter the image
on the computer.


© "Auto-Drawing,3 (color)" 2008

You must know by now that I don't have a social life.
It's ok....really!
There was a time and place for that stuff.
I made a good attempt at "normalcy" a few years ago, but somehow "normal" simply evades me, lol.

Anyway...television and movies play an important role in my life.
They serve as means of escaping reality and of course of just simply being entertained.

So, this season I've added a few gems to my television viewing needs...Mad Men, the Fringe, Grizzly Man Diaries.

"mad men" - ohhhhh...I'm loving this show! It's sooo good and weird at the same time. I actually don't know how to explain it. I find that there isn't continuity from week to week, but somehow I can't help but stay interested and always wanting more.

"fringe" - I miss Mulder and Scully, I really do. This new show is good, as it has the same type of subject matter as the old x-files, but it has a more contemporary approach to the effects and character development...it also has some great visuals. I recommend it.

"the grizzly man diaries" - I found out about Timothy Treadwell a few months ago and have been transfixed by his story and life ever since. If you haven't heard of him, he was a self-taught grizzly bear expert, wildlife preservationist and documentary filmmaker who lived unarmed among the bears in Alaska's Katmai National Park and Reserve for 13 summers and filmed his adventures in the wild during his final five seasons. He dedicated his life to protecting the grizzly bears and it is believed that he (and his girlfriend) were killed by one of those very bears. It was 5 years ago this month that their remains were found near their campsite. The show on Discovery uses footage he shot, amidst beautifully haunting soundtrack. To me, it's more than just a "nature" show about bears and foxes...its a story about a man who was trying to find and understand himself within that environment and unique experience.


I might have forgotten others...but its late and time for sleep.

night night!

digitally colored, organic drawings

I never posted these that I finished about 2 weeks ago.
Most of them are the drawings that I do in the "waiting" room, when I take my mom to her many doctors. The "auto drawings" were a few ink drawings that I did when I was at lunch (in my last job) - it was a way of de-stressing.

I scan the drawings, then I start coloring and eventually altering them a bit with
Corel Painter. They each transform and become a new piece, very different from the original...so its great to see the changes happen before my eyes.



© "waiting room,3" (color) 2008 - I put the B/W one so you can see how much they change from their original version.


©"waiting room,5" (color) 2008


© "auto drawing,4" (color) 2008


© "waiting room,6" (color) 2008


© "waiting room,7" (color) 2008


I really love these (surprise, surprise) and I find it really interesting that recently most of my work is organic. I've been feeling lately like I, as a person, am disappearing.
Oh boy, this is hard to explain but I'll try.
I've just become a series of routines . I'm on auto-pilot most of the time, so that I sometimes feel as if I'm not even here, because I have a predictable schedule, interspersed with last-minute decision-making.
Yeah.
How did this happen?

Anyway, my organic drawings have always been a mystery to me. The closest I have been able to get with interpreting them is that they are a "micro" exploration of my world. It's my way of focusing on details (since that is sometimes missing from my "regular" work). So these flowing lines and rounded shapes are sometimes frightening, but always beautiful details of my internal "landscape".

I see the focus lately on these types of drawings as symbolic of my disappearance.
It's as if most of what I can muster lately is an abstract version of myself....just focusing on the little details, because the big picture is a sad reality that even I don't want to examine closely.

ugh....I'm tired...of EVERYthing.

My Balcony

Being so busy lately has caused me to abandon my balcony a bit unfortunately. Basically all I've had time to do is "water", with very little "sweet talk".
Despite this, its lookin' pretty again(if I do say so myself)...yay!

Here's a few pics.

Enjoy.

Bridal Jewelry

I finally got somewhat decent pictures of the bridal jewelry set (I did 4 exact necklace/earring sets) I was commissioned for a few weeks ago. Although I forgot to take photos of the box...doh! It was pretty, too...oh well.

stitch rock, 2008

I wasn't a vendor in Stitch Rock's first event last year, so I can't compare the crowd size,
but from what I hear, there were more people this year. Amanda of House of Sweets
is the organizer of this event and she did a great job of advertising, etc.





That's my dad on the left (I couldn't have done this without his help).




MY "BOOTH"

I put my "CRAFTS" in the smaller front table and my artwork & necklaces were in the back table.


NECKLACES:


As you can see, my sign was a little ghetto...oh well, lol.

I believe in miracles...

this is long....

ok, so I mentioned that I was participating in Stitchrock...and I did.

Was it a success?
If I am extremely upbeat and positive, I can say that it was a pleasant experience. Although to be fair, I did meet some cool people and there were a few who were genuinely interested in my work. I mean, they actually asked me what it was about, etc....so yes, that was really cool.

But I'm disappointed with how little I sold. When you work so hard and see little return for it, its certainly disheartening. Maybe tomorrow or the next day I might feel better about it.

Now, however, I'm still shaking (literally) from the day's events.

Not just the preparation for it, but the actual dealing with such large crowds of people. I think I did well, considering there were people taking photos, videos, etc. and I know I was in a few of those shots. But slight panic-attacks aside, anyone who has done a similar event like this (or even a yard sale) knows how exhausting physically and mentally the whole process is.

OK so back to my miracle.

I don't know if I mentioned that I had to rent a car, because mine is getting up there in age and isn't up to long trips anymore (so yeah, this show was a total loss...because the car rental was an extra expense I would have loved to avoid - oh well).
Those of you who have rented a car know that sometimes its hard to learn all the gizmos and buttons and things in a new car, but you think you can figure it out as you use it a little bit.
Well, I too had that same confidence and for the most part...I was able to perform with the car to perfection.

The drive TO Delray took about an hour at the speed limit, so it wasn't too bad.

The drive BACK home? A whole other story.

It started out fine, then about 10 minutes into it, there was a pouring rain that lasted through all of Broward County (I don't know how many miles that is off the top of my head, but its a frickin long way). The kind of pouring rain that is terrifying if you're driving, because you can't see 10 feet in front of you, let alone keep up with defensive driving to avoid having other speeding maniacs crashing into you.
I noticed that I kept using the car ahead of me as a guide to know where the lines of the road were.
I also remember asking my dad if he could see my lights, because it seemed too dark for me (THANK GOD he went with me - he's so supportive of my artistic endeavors, its ridiculous).
He replied, yes they're on and I repeated, "so then why can't I see them?".
Meanwhile, I didn't have opportunity to fidget with any buttons, as I was literally barely able to see the hood of my car. So I just figured, that with my dad's affirmation AND the fact that the lights were on inside the car (the spedometer, gas thingy, air, radio, clock...all that stuff was lit up like a christmas tree) that it was just ME that couldn't see the lights, because I was so exhausted.

I consider myself a very confident driver, especially considering that freak accident I had 4 years ago, which left me a little scarred, to say the least. Despite "scars" I've never been scared to go anywhere, as long as I have directions. I'm the kind of driver that doesn't get distracted by cell phones or music and am always aware of my surroundings and of what other drivers are doing.
I am also a driver that has a lead foot (AND I've never gotten a ticket, thank you very much!). I LOVE speed...but this time I was literally doing 20 mph vs the usual 70-80).

With this today I was REALLY scared...probably primarily because my dad was in the car. If I had been by myself, I would have been scared, but I would have been talking to myself (yeah) to egg myself on (or maybe even praying out loud, who knows).

OK, so then I take the exit to the Turnpike to head on to Miami. At the toll, I decided to confirm with the lady that I was heading south.
"uh, no...you're goin' north"
WHAT the #%#@ !!! OMG, this is a nightmare!!
"yep...you can go south if you take the second exit"
Guess what....there was a traffic jam from hell. So I lost about 25 minutes there, before heading back South.

Are you ready for more??

When I finally get to the correct last toll to head home, the kind lady gently informs me that my lights are off.
Um...WHAT??????
I am not kidding you when I tell you that my life flashed before me as I think I was having a heart attack. I just looked at my dad and we both shook our heads.

I drove all the way from Delray Beach to Miami in the middle of the worst rain storm I have EVER driven in...without any lights (oh and exhausted and sleep-deprived, don't forget that).

That I am sitting here telling you all about this, is a miracle, plain and simple. I can't attribute anything else to it.
The shaking started about 1/2 hour after I was inside the house and I asked my dad twice...
"we're home, right?".

He told me not to tell my mother about the lights....um, duh.

I'm still shaking.

Alright, I'm going to bed - I'm frickin exhausted.

I'll post some pictures here tomorrow.

whew

I've been working non-stop, getting ready for Stitchrock.
- Am I stressed? Of COURSE!
- Am I ready? Um...I think so! (well, I should be ready by tomorrow evening...I'm using up all the time I have left)

Anyway, this one is short, 'cause clock is ticking...but if you're in the Delray Beach area or want to take a drive up there and have some fun shopping for cool things, please feel free to stop by and say hi.



Here's the info:

When: Saturday Oct 04, 2008 at 12:00 PM
Where Old School Square - Vintage Gymnasium
51 N. Swinton Ave
Delray Beach, Florida|10 33444

* Door prizes all day*

* Free swag bags for the first 100 people!

* D.I. Y Fashion show at 3pm


Hope to see you there!

What's with the birds??

I forgot to tell you all how EXCITED I am that Grey's Anatomy is back - it was SO good...hee, I love it!!

Anyway, I've been really busy trying to finish everything for Stitchrock next Saturday, (eek!)
among other things that have snuck into my already packed schedule...so needless to say I've been a little stressed.
Although I admit, that it is when I've got a full schedule of things with deadlines, etc. that I work best. I wish it wasn't so, but it is.

So I was sitting here working on the computer - I am getting images ready to apply for an artist's grant...when I see something out of the corner of my eye, followed by the loudest THUD!

I about had a heart attack and then a panic attack, when I noticed that it was a bird that crashed into my sliding glass door. I stood there with my hand over my mouth. I thought I was looking at this little bird dying before me and I knew that I didn't have much time to waste if I was going to help put him out of his misery. He was laying on the floor, head tilted, very labored breathing. In what was probably a second, I had lots of different solutions flashing before my eyes. What am I supposed to do???

Well, I went to get my dad. When in doubt, go get him!

So we came upstairs quickly and I opened the blinds and the little bird is standing on his legs where he had been laying before...still seemingly stunned. We both walked out to the balcony and my dad picked him up and he started squeaking /chirping so loudly, it freaked me out, lol.

I bet he was thinking to himself: "Damn it, I survived crashing into that window and now this guy is gonna kill me!"

Anyway, we checked him out and since he seemed to at least be breathing right, we put him on one of the plants I have on the ledge and he took off like a bullet. So obviously he was fine...thank goodness! I wish I had taken a photo.

So, yes...what's with the birds? I'm dreaming about them, they're coming out in my work, they're crashing into my window...hmm!

Hello, my name is Ana and I'm SO sorry that I'm fat!!

There might be a possibility of me getting on an airplane soon (I'll explain later).
This thought terrifies me to my very core.
Not the reason for the possible flight, but the flight itself.

As an overweight person, I've had to endure verbal "abuse" and discrimination because of it. (I'm really not whining, its just been my experience and I feel like sharing). I know for a fact that I wasn't hired for a gallery job here in Miami, specifically because of my weight. Do I have proof? Well, unfortunately I don't carry a recorder with me, but the person admitted to me (unbelievably so) that because Miami is all about "image" and they cater to a certain "clientele" they had to take that into consideration - I'm not kidding.

When you're young...rude & cruel remarks can sting and scar you. But, you mature and learn that there are bad people in the world and hopefully you realize that not everyone will mistreat you simply because of how you look. Although now I've learned to accept these events as part of my "norm", I will still occasionally notice "looks" and remarks by some, who make no attempt to hide them. I either 'ignore' or 'confront' (depending on my mood - although honestly, its usually 'ignore' & 'accept').

OK, back to the airplane.

I've only been on a few flights, none of which were pleasant, whether it be because of nerves or physical discomfort. It also seems that every time I've had to get on a plane, I'm at a point in my life when I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about my weight. The idea of getting into those tiny seats, breathing on the head of the person in front of me, because they've reclined completely backwards, having someone's brat kick the back of my seat...well, its not a pleasant thought. But I've always gone out of my way ( literally). to NOT make the other person next to me uncomfortable as much as possible, going as far as apologizing for my very existence on top of risking my health by not moving and barely breathing (and forget food, are you kidding me???)

Anyway, I did a very stupid thing (bad Ana!): I made the mistake of doing "research" online about being overweight and flying. Why? Who knows why I do the things I do. Lets just say it was "just because".

Well, I came across a travel site that asked "should obese people pay more for their flights?" There were 360 comments left and of course, I read every single one of them and it has left me shattered.

The hateful, ignorant comments about "obese" and "overweight" people was horrifying! I won't get into details, but phrases like: "stop stuffing your face", "get out of Burger King", "I don't want your stinky, sweaty fat on me", "I run 10 miles a day and keep fit, why can't you?"...etc. were expressed. Those are the type of things that we all believe people are "thinking" and that our loved ones (bless them) tell us is all in our heads, well, obviously it's a sad reality. The hypocrisy we're surrounded by is evidenced by the fact that these people leave such horrible commentary, only because they are protected by virtual anonymity.

Ugh!!
Someone please tell me to stop doing this to myself!

I forgot to mention

that I was interviewed for a WLRN show (public television), which will air in early November.

Yeah, I know...I actually allowed someone to film me (eek!). I suppose that miracles DO happen!

Anyway, there were 4 others interviewed and although the show's focus was on "Craft" in South Florida...I talked about my art. Mentioning, of course, that there are some "craft" techniques that have seeped into my artwork, such as sewing, crocheting, etc.

We were asked to bring a sampling of our work and below you will see my display. The cameraman took lots of close up shots of my pieces, so I'm looking forward to seeing how they look on TV!

I'm supposed to get a copy of the show, so if I'm not feeling self-conscious, I will probably post it here...we'll see.



The sampling of work that I took for the interview.



These are actually from 3 different pieces. All involve either crocheting, embroidery or sewing.
- The red is titled "Heartstrings,1".
- The long descending "strings" are from one titled: "Chronicle of Salacious Conduct (the first 35)"
- The bottom "squares" are from a piece titled "Alas, he was not in the pool"



- Here are some of the "idea" digital illustrations, printed small (5x7)
- The bottom squares are new - very colorful abstract/organic drawings on thin balsa wood.



- Background, right - are original ink drawings.
- Foreground, right - 2 nesting dolls and a new cloth doll, titled "I'll be ok"



- Closeup of the dolls. I'm working on a series of both types of these dolls - they're so much fun!

OK, that's all I have for now.

Tata

ok, I'm FED up

All my life people have been telling me what to do, what to say, how to act and I'm tired of it. NOW people feel the need to push their political opinions on me? I don't bloody think so!

WHY??? I don't do that to ANYONE.

I'm a Republican. Frankly, one of only a few "republican" artists that I'm aware of. I've always been surrounded and have been friends with liberals, without issue. But if they start hounding me or trying to convince me that my views are incorrect...I tend to want to distance myself, because I will not stand for that nonsense.

As an art student, there were many times that I felt insignificant and even idiotic because of the liberal bullies I was surrounded by. At times I almost felt the need to apologize for my views. But that's because I was insecure and unsure of myself...not so anymore - I will NOT apologize.

If you don't like my political views, you can simply choose to stop talking to me, remove me from your email list and forget my name...I won't be offended. But do NOT tell me I need to change my mind about who I support or what I stand for.

I'm an opinionated person, yet I try not to push my political views on anyone.

I'm a grown woman and for better or for worse have a mind of my own.
All I ask is for the courtesy of some respect.

Go vote for your guy, I'll vote for mine, then lets sit back and see what the future holds.

Thanks.

time is running away...

I can't catch up to it!

I have SO much stuff to do, its insane. Anyone peeking into my little world, will think I resemble the proverbial chicken minus head, runnin around trying to finish stuff, make new stuff, package stuff, "stuff" stuff...

yeah, I'm getting ready for Stitchrock, which is a mere 3 weeks away (crap!).

Meanwhile, my car is not feeling well, so I'm kind of stuck...although because of previous said statement, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere anyways.

But OH, what a frickin gorgeous day!


*as seen through my window*


I'm not suffering too much though, because its "totally 80's weekend" on FM,97.3 (as usual) and so far I haven't cried, so its good, lol.

Here's a little peek into some of the things I've been working on - haven't had much time to photograph them individually (MUST do that too!), but you get the gist (this is only a fraction, of course).



What else? Hmm...screw it, no time to think right now. Have a good one!

Ana

EEK - Hall and Oates just came on! Uh oh, I know I'll sob before the end of the day, lol.

weird dreams...

OK, so our air conditioner broke...AGAIN!

And although with two fans going it was quite bearable, I guess the warmer conditions were fodder for strange dreams.

It was pretty constant...one weird circumstance after another. But when I awoke, only two distinctively stood out.

First - I was in what seemed like an old Victorian-style home. Actually, was on the porch (seemed like a "semi" wrap-around) and I went to one of the corners...which appeared to be a dead end and something in the corner caught my eye - It was a "web" full of cicadas. As I approached it (um, why would I do that?) I realized that there were hundreds of varying sizes...those suckers were everywhere, but I kept getting closer and actually reached out with my left hand and one of them saw me (of course, the largest one) and started coming after me and chasing me through the house......don't remember much else about that one



Imagine one of these guys chasing you....um yeah. By the way the first time I had heard of a cicada was when I moved to Alabama, because they were "singing" up a storm! I remember that around the time I got used to the sound, they stopped (I guess mating season was over).

Second - I was inside that same house, which I remember had all the "details" of a house from that era (is Victorian an era? well, you know what I mean). The lace curtains, detailed wood work in the house and a very ornate birdhouse, which drew my attention. Its as if I had not seen it in a long time, even though it was right in front of me. I opened the little lace curtain (I have to do a drawing of this, so it makes sense, I suppose) of the birdhouse and noticed inside was like a dollhouse, with tiny furniture and in the middle was a bird's nest, with a tiny blue bird, she had two teensy tiny baby birds in her nest and I felt compelled to reach my hand in there to touch them, because they were so cute AND because I thought it was strange that I would have not noticed "live" birds inside my home. I remember thinking in the dream that they couldn't be real, that I was imagining it. Well, as soon as my hand touched the nest, the babies fell out on the floor and as they hit turned to dust. The mother bird also fell out and as she hit the ground, instantly disintegrated so that only her skeleton was left. My reaction was well, "horrified". THEN I woke up.

Anyone know how to interpret dreams? Sheesh!

At least there's more imagery for my work, right?

New Fat Girl Illustration

Here is my latest fat girl drawing.
Simple and complex at the same time, although FULL of symbolism.
It was very hard to finish for some reason. I just couldn't decide where was the right place to stop.
That doesn't happen very often, as I usually know the exact moment that a piece is done...so it was a bit frustrating to say the least.

Enjoy.



© "Fat Girl - Drowning" - Digital Illustration, 2008



© "Fat Girl -Drowning, detail"

hmm...interesting.


meanwhile...I'm enjoying the pretty flowers on the balcony, swaying in the breeze.

I just saw...

The Dark Knight...and I'm speechless. I can't really say much other than it was absolutely, amazingly wonderful.

I've been crying - I know, big surprise, right?

But there are few things more beautiful than to see artists doing what they love and to see them creating a masterpiece. What a magnificent thing to observe, especially if you're an artist yourself. Because you can notice those little nuances that other's dismiss or take for granted.

Heath Ledger's performance...well, I am not surprised that he was tormented outside of the "set", because he left himself there with the Joker (or I should say he lost himself within the Joker). He deserves an oscar and its a horrible shame that he is not here to bask in the aftermath of his brilliance on that film. The Joker will forever be his and his alone...no one else can touch that character, nor should they even attempt to.

I waited this long to see it, because I didn't want a bunch of bratty, snot nosed kids or typical annoying Miamians surrounding me. I was surprised to see as many people as were there on an early Friday afternoon, actually...but I was able to NOT notice, once I was transfixed by the film.

If you haven't seen it - you should.

Again, here is Roger's take on the film.

a little sobbing and a poem that doesn't want to reveal itself.

mourn the absence of the being
forever locked inside,
for the treacherous ambivalence
poisons every fiber.

escape eternal suffering,
which to you does not belong,
admit love was misguided,
not unconditional as you thought.

waste away but without warning,
in a world thriving with misery.
accompanied by darkness,
unfulfilled and unforgiving.

I don't really fully know what the heck the above means. It started in one direction and ended up well....you can read for yourself...it kind of makes no sense, right? Which I guess, makes perfect sense, since my mind is playing tricks again.

I have been dealing with great anguish, because I feel torn and displaced.
I don't belong here.
But then again...I don't really belong anywhere else either, do I?

I started sobbing (literally) when I watched the interview Charlie Rose did of Francesco Clemente, tonight. Not because I'm particularly a fan of Clemente's work, although it can sometimes be quite haunting (which naturally draws me in)...but more so because of the freedom he has to be an artist, in full force. I'm jealous of anyone who can do that, because its all I want for myself. Its what I've wanted for a long time, but...

"Ana, just do it" doesn't work, so don't even say it...don't even think it.

I'm stuck in this place right now, not just the house, city, state.
This place that is thick as molasses mixed with quicksand.
The place that sucks you in and doesn't let go.
Its not concrete, for I would be breaking away at it with my bare hands, if I could.
No, its in the most abstract form so nothing can be done, because you can't see it, hear it, smell it...you can only sense it.
The presence is palpable, but almost imaginary.

Its been a heck of a long time...I know

Well, you know what's been going on with me, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I've been gone (from my blog) this long.
BUT
I have been doing some work and although not necessarily what I would call part of my usual repertoire, its still from me and maybe my "stuff" is changing? It's really too early to know that, but I'm just glad (honestly) that my hands are moving and active and that I can still get excited about these things I'm working on lately.

I just listed three items in my shop.

These first two are illustrations (for lack of a better description) that are done on pages from a Guinness Book of World Records from 1990. The process is explained in the listing. They are a lot of fun and are coming along slowly, because I have several projects going on at the same time.

©"Guinness, Mushrooms" (2008)
original illustration on book page



© "Guinness, Jellyfish" (2008)
original illustration on book page


This last one is one of my ink drawings that I do while I "wait" at doctor's offices, etc. I decided to color it digitally and really like how it turned out, so I am going to work all my other black and white drawings this way, so I can make prints out of them. I'll be selling the originals as well, in the near future.


©"Waiting room,4" (2008)
digitally colored ink drawing


Hope you enjoy!

Oh! I was also accepted as an artist in trunkt.org.
I only have a basic portfolio at this point, but am very pleased that they wanted me to participate.

That's all for now.

Roger Ebert and X-Files

In the midst of my whining (last post), I forgot to mention that I saw the x-files this past Friday.

I won't get into an in depth review here, but although I loved seeing Mulder and Scully again (I giggled like a school girl every time he came on the screen - um, yep), I was a bit disappointed with the storyline and wish that Duchovny and Anderson had held out for a better script. I mean, we philers (geek-term for x files fanatics, yes I admit it) waited 10 years! That's a hell of a long time, folks...and this was not worth the wait.
AGAIN, it was absolutely wonderful to see Mulder and Scully together again and in a real (albeit dysfunctional) relationship , but the story...well, it just could have been so much more.

Anyway, I read the review by Roger Ebert (who I definitely think has gotten much "softer" in recent years) and wanted to share it here.

I also wanted to show this video clip of Roger Ebert and the late Gene Siskel - its a hilarious, laugh out loud outtake of their show back in the day. You will definitely enjoy it. Here is Ebert's article / reflection on the show, as the newest version "Ebert and Roeper" has been canceled.

i wish i could understand why this has been happening.

yes,"why me?"
typical question cowards pose when they can't figure out the truth for themselves and need someone else (whether human or divine) to step in and make it easier by providing the answer for them.

maybe i can't handle the truth (maybe he was right after all).

sometimes i feel like i'm becoming a person i barely recognize.
a hard shell - anger, sadness, resentment....
sprinkled with bouts of hope (shouldn't it be the other way around?)

i feel as if the me that i once thought could be someone important and make a difference in the world, has been replaced by this somewhat pathetic excuse for a human being that panics at the thought of stepping outside and into the world again.

how can someone regress so quickly?

time is running and i feel as if i will never be able to catch up with it. the dreams i had can't possibly be accomplished anymore, can they? i check things off my "to do" list, not because they're done, but because i feel that its too late now.

i find myself praying more...but how does one try to connect to their faith again, when they believe they are unworthy of divine intervention?

why do i feel unworthy? it would take a long time to explain that one.

i'm sorry to be such a rambling "debbie downer"...but this is part of me and to leave it out, would mean i'm denying that this is a very real thing i'm dealing with right now.

this affects me in every aspect of my life, especially as an artist, so i need to take advantage of ANY outlet I have to express myself and get this stuff out.

New Digital Painting

I worked on this piece all day yesterday (actually finished at 2 am this morning). It took me so long, because it kept changing on me for some reason.

Its definitely different from when I started it, but boy do I like it! I'll be posting it in my shop when I have a couple more new pieces (that way it forces me to get to workin' more, damn it!)

I have all these materials surrounding me and a couple of ideas for a series of small paintings on wood and canvas...but I haven't gotten around to it.
I NEED an exhibit (or two or three), so that I have a more specific reason to work on these new ideas...otherwise, I feel as if they'll just be sitting here, collecting dust and I definitely don't want that.

OK enough rambling, here's the piece:



Title: "Go on...fly away (from the "I have an Idea" series)
Medium: Digital Painting (using Corel)
Year: 2008

enjoy!

goodness, its been a while!

I believe this is the longest I've gone without writing anything in the blog.

It's not that there isn't much to say...because honestly, there always is. But within the last couple of weeks, I've been "processing" things internally, rather than sharing it with everyone (sometimes you just have to do it like that, right?).

I also have a friend who has helped me put certain things in perspective and also suggested a great book, which I've been reading. I'm trying to work on myself a bit (about time!) and trying to figure out which things need prioritizing in my life.

I wonder why its so difficult to put oneself first? Well, for people like me, anyway. I know PLENTY of people who are "me, me, me" 24/7...which is why I've lost touch with quite a few of them and it doesn't hurt as much as I would have imagined.

People come and go from our lives all the time. Some play significant roles that affect and alter who we are...when those people are gone from our lives we feel a definite void in some way or another, until our last breath. But there are other's who have also played significant roles, yet once they are gone, we can feel a certain peace within, despite their absence...to me this signifies that they served a purpose in our life and were no longer needed. That's my take on it anyway.

So you see the kind of stuff I've been dealing with. Trying to take better care of myself physically, psychologically and spiritually...but I know this is a long journey, so I don't even have any expectations or particular goals in mind. I'm just taking one day at a time, waiting to see what life throws my way next.

Of course there are some issues that have not been resolved. It would be nice to get a certain closure with those...and for that I HAVE given myself a time frame. Hopefully having a goal with these important issues will help me focus and finally find peace within about them. We'll see.

In the meantime, I have also painted a few "cutesy" things - I'm focused on the show in October, which I am now unsure as to whether or not I should have signed up for it. But because of how I am, I cannot back out now. But this is one of the issues I'm hoping to resolve - the one about why I'm dedicating so much time on my "crafts" as opposed to my art, which is where my real passion lies.

But for now (at least until October) I have made the commitment to continue with the etsy thing until I can figure out what are my best options. I really want to exhibit my work and perhaps have it sell in a reputable venue, but I have to find the best way to do that, without feeling like I'm selling my soul...lol, quite a conundrum.

Anyway, here are a few pics of the cutesy things I worked on a couple of weeks ago (they were all green...figured it would be easier to just work on one color at a time, since I had all the paints out already)


Butterfly


Dragonfly


Lizard


Motorcycle


Green Ornament

Then I got into oranges...this is the first, have to take pictures of the others.




This past week or so, I've been working on freebies for Stitchrock. They are giving away goodie bags to the first 100 people, so I'm making something for that, rather than just give my business card. Hopefully it brings some people to my booth.

OK, that's all I have for now.

My Chinese Horoscope for today said...

Conflicts between duty and pleasure
or
between sober practicality and a yearning for love
and emotional satisfaction, are likely now.
This can be a very frustrating time,
and you are likely to feel quite alone, emotionally aloof, or withdrawn.
__________

hmm...It's pretty darned accurate....ugh.

Holly is feeling poopy today...

Had to take lil Holly (Mr. Hollywood, my guinea pig) to the vet today.

A couple of days ago, I noticed a bump/lump type thing on the corner of his right eye, so
I thought I'd have it checked.

Anyway, the vet squeezed his eye like he was squeezin' a lemon! They're such brutes!
I asked him to trim his nails, since I have such a hard time doing it. He also weighed him (8 lbs!) and says that I'm a very good mommy (I already knew that, thank you very much!)

He prescribed some drops and says that if it doesn't work, they should do a biopsy (surgically removing it) of the lump to see if its a tumor. UGH! I hope it doesn't resort to that...poor little thing.

Anyway, Holly has been all droopy since we got back. Can you imagine you going to the doctor and having him squeeze YOUR eye (or something else that hurts already???)

Here he is in his purple cubby-hidey-thingy, not looking too happy:

Got another Treasury on etsy

I finally got the elusive Treasury (not the alternate west one, but the real deal).
I've been wanting to do this one about angels or wings, but never really got the chance until today.
I already have my next one planned (of MAG members) and hopefully it doesn't take as long to get it as this one did.

enjoy.
( I used that first angel, with the red background in the other one I got - I LOVE that piece).

here i go again...

Watching movies I shouldn't,
because they make me sob...
the sentiment is so familiar.

Looking at photos I shouldn't,
because they make me remember...
I was happy but didn't know it.

Feeling things I shouldn't,
because its just plain hopeless...
can't turn back time.
___________________

I hate it when I'm like this...like I don't have dark enough circles under my eyes?
The tears won't make that any better!
I hate it even more that I feel compelled to share it with you.
I have a huge headache now.
I should be sleeping - its 3:30....but my mind is wandering too much...re-visiting old haunts.
Ugh...I hate it when I'm like this (have I already said that?)

I'm the only person of everyone I know that can't move forward, get better, progress.
I'm stuck, within myself.

I am the gate keeper to this.........

ugh, nevermind.

sleep sounds like a good idea

A rainbow and a UFO (or is it a flying saucer?)

Rainbow:

Its been raining here SO much lately and the other day after a big storm,
I was looking out my window and noticed a rainbow!
Its been a LONG time since I've seen one, so I ran to get my camera before it disappeared.




UFO(?):

So on the day that I went to see "The Happening"...on Friday the 13th
(um, yeah)
I took a couple of pictures of the palm trees outside of the theatre,
because they look so pretty and symmetrical.
I've been thinking lately that I want to take photographs of random
things related to Miami (maybe if I can see something beautiful within it,
I won't mind living here so much.

(for now)

Anyway...
So yesterday I was editing the photos (just cropping and re-sizing so
that they weren't so large to post here) and I noticed something in one
of the photos, which left me a bit puzzled, so I wanted to share it
with y'all, of course!

This is the first photo...just palm trees:


This is the second photo...just palm trees?


Um, no...lets look closer.


You see that, between the building and the palm tree?
What the heck is it?
I'll zoom in some more...

You see? I haven't altered or retouched this at all.
At first I thought it was like a helicopter, but, the more I zoomed in
the shape seemed more flying saucer-like.

Here's the last zoomed view:

What does it look like to YOU???

latest fat girl

OK, so I finally finished!
whew!

They're getting more.....um....interesting, aren't they?

Lol.

I hope you like it!
I'll be listing it in my shop tomorrow, 'cause I'd like to head off to bed.

So, night night!



© "fat girl - waiting for a phone call", 2008

New Necklaces

These are the recent necklaces I completed.
They really are quite fun to make.

I'm also (thank GOD) working on the latest "fat girl" digital drawing, so hopefully I can list it tonight.

enjoy!

Eclectica's Katrina Cristobal - Miami Artist, ReVamper and my latest featured Etsyan!

Its a small world after all...
I recently had the opportunity to re-connect with a former "college"mate, who also happens to be an artist living in Miami and sells on etsy!

I really like the unique vision that she infuses in her work and I wanted to tell you all about her, so you can also show her some love!
Eclectica is the perfect name, as she certainly DOES have a little something for everyone.

Her name is Katrina Cristobal and she owns a wonderful home decor (and more) store called Eclectica,which is located in Kendall (a suburb of Miami, FL).
She also has two shops on etsy:
EclecticaMiami (vintage home decor, supplies, etc.)
and
HomeECOnomics (repurposed ECOfriendly Home Decor).



I'm not usually "in the loop", but as far as I'm concerned, she is one of the few people in Miami, that is working towards and supporting a more environmentally-friendly existence.
By refurbishing vintage items, she is giving them a new purpose. There is a reason that "living green" is becoming not just popular, but a necessity nowadays. We have been using up all our planet's resources at an alarming rate and the way to remedy the destruction we have caused, is for us to re-think our way of living, eating and yes even decorating.



I think Katrina's way of embedding new life to older items that might otherwise have ended up in a landfill, brings not only a breath of fresh air (maybe pun intended) but also a great sense of humor, brilliant color and newly-found elegance to modern home decor.



She has a great sensibility for unique color and texture combinations and aside from the items that she restores or reconstructs, she also has a great eye for finding wonderfully unique vintage items.
I know I can never find cool stuff like these when I go to thrift stores!:



Aside from all the wonderful things she's doing, she is also really friendly and very helpful with any questions you might have about her store, items, etc. so don't hesitate to contact her.



Here are all of her links...please make sure to either visit her store or etsy shops (and buy something! You can't beat her prices, folks!)

Her Miami Store:
- Eclectica is located at 12286 SW 131 Ave, Miami, FL 33186
Eclectica is "technically" closed for the summer (she is making some great changes to her store). However, she is OPEN for appointments (If you live in the Miami-Dade or Broward area, do not hesitate to drive to her store. It's an easy drive and well worth it!)
Her shops on etsy:
- EclecticaMiami
- HomeECOnomics

You will also find her at StitchRock (in Delray Beach, October 4, 2008) as one of the exciting and COOL vendors (I'll be there too!).

Review, "The Happening" ,an M. Night Shyamalan film

OK, so I have been literally counting down the days to see "The Happening" since last year when I heard about it, because I am a huge Shyamalan fan - I've even been known to call him a "genius" from time to time.

I certainly do believe that he is an under-appreciated writer and director. It might be his (or the marketing people that work for him) own fault, because every film after the hugely successful "Sixth Sense" has been advertised with something like "from the director of the Sixth Sense!"and the trailers have been edited to give a false representation that the movie we are about to see is similar to that spectacular one.

I think that Shyamalan has been testing his range with his movies. They all have that mysterious quality that threads them together, to make them identifiably his work, but I feel that he is discovering who HE is through his films. We see what he's asking himself and the things that concern him through his work. I read them as glimpses into his mind...which is very cool. But I truly believe that the best is yet to come from him.

I'm a huge fan of his, because I understand what he's trying to say and HOW he's trying to say it. Its a sensibility thing...maybe its an artist thing, who knows. But I GET the guy and his fantastic way of telling a story.

Having said that, I hate what I'm about to say...but I was a bit disappointed with this film. I knew that the previews would be misleading, although those scenes are definitely still strong and hard to handle. I think I watched most of the movie through my fingers (you know...my hands covering my face?)

But, a major disappointed for me was with the casting of this film - I feel this makes a huge difference with his films, which are reliant upon how his characters move and react, through his storyline.

I usually like Mark Wahlberg in his "action" films...but unfortunately, I think he's a mismatch in this one. He's not one that conjures up "sensitivity" easily. I think his acting isn't at the level that a Shyamalan film requires (He might have been good in this if it had been cast like 10 years from now).
Its funny, because even before I saw any trailer or preview, I saw the poster advertising the film and when I saw Marky Mark (its what I will forever call him, lol) I did a double take and just internally screamed noooooooo, because I KNEW that he just wouldn't quite fit.

The premise of the film is a good (and relevant) one. One that I actually have been thinking about a LOT in recent years, especially with all the horrific tornadoes and earthquakes, etc. I've always thought that the earth can only take so much. It wasn't meant to be abused in this manner. There's a limit to what ANY living, breathing being will take, without there being dire and permanent consequences.

This film brings to light one such possible consequence...but it leaves you hanging. I don't ever expect a clear-cut ending from Shyamalan, but I certainly do expect more substantive sequences of events that leave me with better-informed questions as I walk out of the theatre.
I think he's brilliant, so I always expect to learn a bit more, through his films, about the topic he's dealing with and I usually do. But I felt a bit empty after this one and want more information from him. Why leave this film at just a mere 90 minutes, when there is SO much more to say??? I don't get it.

In my opinion, he focused his attention on the wrong characters. "Marky" and "Blue-Eyes" and the useless little girl aren't important...he should have made nature the main character. I think there are glimpses of it...but certainly not enough. I can imagine him remaking this film and by just tweaking a couple of things it would be incredible. But alas...

I just read a few reviews and they weren't too promising for poor Night, but Roger Ebert has much more eloquently (than I) touched upon the points of the film in his great review here.


NOW, my next countdown is for X FILES!!!!!!!!

OH MY FRICKIN GOD, I have missed Scully and Mulder!!!!!!

Heeeeeee....yipeeeeeee....heeee.......heeeeeee

country

Today for the first time ever
I saw a cute,young man
in a "souped" up, cherry red sports car
listening to

country music...

I was taken aback.

Um, need I remind you where I live???
That just doesn't happen here.

I've taken it as another sign, lol.

Duality, a nesting doll

I'm sitting here typing this and watching "40 year old virgin"...I'm laughing so hard, there are tears in my eyes.
Don't YOU love it too? Its just frickin' hilarious.

Anyway, the improvement of my mood is due to finally getting some work done yesterday.
I finished a nesting doll and it was so much fun and I love the way it came out (of course, lol).

Titled "Duality", it was a completely intuitive process (and I'm not quite 100% sure what its all about yet. Its a fairly simple drawing...but infused with my typical symbolism).

Hope you enjoy...














I don't know that I want to sell it, lol...I really like it.
But I need money, so if someone else likes it as much as I do and they're willing to pay for it, I can live with giving it up? or can I?

I suppose I'll let you know if the issue ever comes up.

Til next time.

some good, some bad and even some ugly

~The Good~

I'll start with something positive, since I've been "Debbie Downer" lately.

1)
I have been meaning to post photos of the pillows I made last week for
Colleen of ColleensCreative (she has become a big supporter and friend, albeit from long distance).


Pink - Hearts and Butterfly



Blue - Flowers and bee


2) I also made a little adjustable ring for another package I mailed out (I'll be making more of these for the shop). I like to include a little something extra in my packages - I'll probably have to think of things that aren't so time or money consuming, but for now, its ok.
I only have photos of the "top" view.
I wish I had thought of taking a "side" view....doh!


I really like how this turned out...its somewhat simple, but it looks cute
(if I do say so myself).

3) On Saturday, I went to a meeting of the Miami Artisans Guild (MAG blog here). Its nice to see that there are creative people in Miami willing to get together and do something positive here. There's nothing going on in Miami, as far as creative shows, etc. so in the meeting there were some good ideas thrown around...some have a solid backing, so I need to get my butt in gear and start making more "stuff" because I hope to participate in several of these events.

~ The Bad ~

Today I got my paperwork that I requested from my former employer in Alabama. Yes...just 4 days after I asked for it. Want to know something else? There was a personalized note attached to it. Uh huh.
Then, I was prompted to call FIU to see if they had received my paperwork, because of COURSE, I did not expect them to have anything done...God forbid.
So after speaking with someone from a customer service (that isn't even on campus - yeah, they need customer service that isn't in the school, so they can treat people with even a semblance of decency).
Anyway,the first lady couldn't help me, so I had to call the actual office where they receive faxes. To say that the chick that I dealt with was rude, is putting it mildly. It isn't even rudeness, its total apathy...which as a former employee of FIU, I completely understand, mind you. That place makes you want to hurl yourself in front of a speeding bus. But still...
OK, so my paperwork from here (my former employer that is a mile away) will take 3-4 weeks to get to me. Why?
I swear that I was shaking from the anger I felt.
I hate this effing place. Hate it! Hate it! hate it!!
One more?
Hate it!!!
lol

~ The Ugly ~

UM...ok, so I forgot what the ugly part was...so lets say the FIU experience was both bad and fugly!!

a tug at the heart strings...

I need some paperwork from my former employers and as a result of trying to get that accomplished, I had two distinctly different telephone experiences which I had to share with y'all.

Miami phone call -
Surprisingly somewhat pleasant (unusually so for Miami) but very cold and business-like. I have to send a couple of forms, fax them, send a copy of my id - the usual bureaucratic bullshit...uh, I mean "crap". Oh and of course, she gave me the wrong link to where I can find the form online (had to look it up myself) - uh huh.

vs

Tuscaloosa phone call -
Pleasant doesn't cover it folks. When the person in payroll responded...um...she remembered me. I don't remember HER, but she remembered me. As soon as I gave her my name, she said "oh, you're in Miami, aren't you?".
I about flipped my lid! I don't know why I was surprised, after all, that's just the way it is in the good ole south. Friendly folks who actually remember who the hell you are and actually care! Yes, I said CARE!
Need I remind you that its been 2 years since I left that job? 2 frickin' years!!

I told her my situation and she said that she'd print them out and mail them to me.
Um, no forms to fill out???
No copy of my id???
An actual person is going to print it out for me and mail it herself with her own two hands??? She said, just look for a brown envelope and that'll be from us.
"So, how's the weather in Miami?", she asked. (You mean, you actually want to have a conversation with me???)

"It's hotter than...heck", I said.
(YES I, who can sometimes curse-like-a-drunken-sailor Ana, said "heck"! My brain scanned quickly and I remembered I was talkin' to a good southern girl and didn't want to traumatize her by saying hell - I am NOT lying to you, I said HECK).

The conversation lasted for a few minutes - not seconds....minutes (that's unheard of here) - ok, I might be jaded, but I don't think so. Miami doesn't make it to the number one spot on the nation's "most aggressive something-or-other" list for nothing, folks.

I laughed and giggled with the Tuscaloosa lady...something I haven't done in a while.
And when we hung up, I cried...something I have done a lot of lately.

You don't know how much you love some thing or one until its gone - ain't that the truth.

I know you're bored with my whining - I am too.
AND I also know that I've said this before, but

I sure do miss the person I was, when I was in Alabama...

OK

I have been meaning to write about this, but "stuff" kept me from getting to it.

But I can't wait anymore and have to interrupt what I'm doing...

GREY's ANATOMY is absolutely the BEST show EVER. This is coming from a television
fanatic. I've seen a lot of shows, probably too many. But suffice it to say that I am a bit of a connoisseur...

This show is it! The writing is absolutely, insanely good. Seriously, I can't handle how wonderful it is. It has everything a person can want in a television program. Heart pacing-ly good stuff.

If you have not seen it, you better get your ass off to get the dvd's of the first, second, however else many seasons there have been and watch it. I didn't catch it until like the 3rd season and now I will cancel pretty much anything, so that I won't miss it - I swear, it's like fluid, liquid, moving art (I'm serious!)

I can't say anymore, because its back on...but I just had to let you know.

Grey's Anatomy is frickin amazing!

latest digital piece...

A few days ago I said that I wished I could give you a peek into my head, when I'm feeling "down" or "blocked" creatively.

Well, that same night I started a digital painting/illustration ( I still don't know what to call these!), titled "stifled".

This one is a bit more detailed than the others..it was a longer process than I anticipated, but I LOVE how it turned out!

Here it is, hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

©"Stifled", 2008

Artists need to be informed, this affects YOU...

All this legal mumbo jumbo stuff is very confusing for me.
I get easily overwhelmed with legalese and so I am not completely informed about the issue of the legislature being enacted regarding orphaned works.

Please click the links below for different sources that explain the issues and also provide sample letters for you to write to your representatives, etc.

OrphanWorks.net (this site follows the progress - for better or worse- of the orphan works legislation and has direct links to appropriate sites regarding this issue)

Illustrator Partnership ( fantastic web site with valuable information for artists)

Letters and Links to contact Congress, Representatives, etc (Artists Take Action!!!)

Sample Letter and Instructions (For International Artists or US artists that are overseas)

Severe Blockage...

Not intestinal...

Creative.

It's stifling and sucking the very life out of me...


what to do,
what can I do?

nothing.

That's the problem.

I wish I could let you take a peek inside my head so you can see what's going on in there right now....

Interview(s) of an artist

I wanted to let you know that there are 3 different blogs/sites that have me as a featured artist. They graciously requested to interview me and of course I said yes. I am extremely flattered that they would be interested in knowing more about lil ole me.

Here they are (you might read the same info over and over, but I wanted to share all three). Make sure to visit their blogs, shops, sites...please.

- Elizabeth of UK based website, 1st Angel, where she features other artists and writers. Its a website that has LOTS of great information, make sure to visit. Here is my interview.

- Rachael of FrenchConnect (a lovely shop, which has ragdolls, prints, stuffed dolls, bags, greeting cards, jewelry and much more) has me as a featured etsy seller on her equally lovely blog. Read it here.

- Janyce of Sojourn Quilts (great shop where you will find interesting and eclectic wall-hangings, soft sculptured lobsters, appliquéd wallets, fabric collages and more) interviewed me last week for her wonderful blog titled: "What Shoes I Wear: a place to explore and celebrate how different people find their own special ways of moving through and rising above life's more trying moments." You can read the interview here.



Til next time...

the Balcony and the Waiting Room

- Balcony -

I've been meaning to take pictures of the current "look" of my balcony garden, so here they are.
Its actually getting close to needing another revamp, believe it or not.
I sense that the flowers are straining in the limited space of their containers...so here comes another semi-expensive trip to the nursery for soil and more flowers to fill in some empty spots - which can only be seen from my view (looking out), but its the most important part - the one that I get to enjoy.

I noticed what look like aphids on the yellow and lavender petunias (dag nabbit) and unfortunately I think they're going to be hard to save - but I'll try my best.

Its purty isn't it?

- Waiting Room -


I had to take my mom for a procedure very early this morning and I had a long wait (3 hours) so needless to say, I did some drawing to be able to distract myself a bit. I think I'm going to try something different with these, so you're seeing them here in their "raw" stage.

ugh...I've only slept about 8-10 hours in the last 3 (or is it 4 days). This creates a perpetual and massive headache among other things...so hopefully I can get some serious sleep tonight.

Have a good one...oh and I apologize for the horrific photos - it was already dark when I took them. But these are just to give you a glimpse of what I did while I waited.

OH - and when I was working on this last one a guy walked past and said "that's really cool...is it going to be a tattoo?" - I loved the comment, because I've actually always thought that my "organic" drawings would make cool tattoos.

I curated a treasury!

I was FINALLY able to get a treasury...as a curator!

I have been salivating over a lot of wonderful work on etsy and am so happy to be able to feature some of them in the ever-elusive treasury.

Here it is.




Isn't it gorgeous!!!
(if I do say so myself)

Can't sleep...exhibit & pendant

Last thing before I attempt sleep.

I was notified that the piece I submitted for the 29th Annual Mini-Works On Paper Exhibition, was accepted!

How cool is that?

Mini-Works is designed to exhibit works of art of any definition that are “on paper” and of an intimate scale. Each work is required to be no smaller than the area of one-half the size of a
dollar bill: 3⅛”x 2¾”.

I submitted a piece titled "sabotage" - derived from this original drawing, but printed to fit the required size.

I printed it on watercolor paper, then embellished with pen (lines drawn on the print). Can you believe I didn't photograph the piece before I submitted it? I know! UGH!!

Anywy, if you happen to be near Jacksonville, Alabama - the juried exhibition is at Jacksonville State University (awww, 'bama) in their Hammond Hall Gallery. It runs from May 6 - 30, 2008. The reception is Tuesday, May 6th, from 7:00 - 9:00 PM.

There are several cash awards to be given (I'll keep you posted if I get anything).

I TRULY wish I could be at the reception...but of course, I can't. If I can get access to any photos of the event or promo's about it, I'll put it here.

Gosh, I hope this is the first of many exhibits...oh and I sold the larger pendant yesterday....too cool!

New Pendants -n- stuff...

"Stuff" first. I've started to think (seriously) of "self-publishing" a book (actually have several ideas...of course!) based on my poetry, illustrations and several prominent issues in my life...and/or a combination thereof. I will be able to explain more clearly in the near future.


Here are a few pendants I finished yesterday:

"told you to go" [new poem]

like a ton of bricks
it hit me.
the horrific feeling
that comes with realization...

i made a big mistake.
the kind that never heals.
an opportunity lost
to seal your wound...

slipped right between my fingers.

for pride and selfishness
or was it anger and resentment?
those feelings i held onto
thinking they would save me from the pain...

just plunged it deeper within
and made it everlasting.
how many chances did i have to get it right?
but I couldn’t see, just ignored…

i don't know how to remedy this.

when did i become
the person who derides?
how can i heal, now that I know
there’s no going back…

all you did was come up to my door
"just to say hi".
i laughed in your face
and told you to go...

a moment i'll regret til the end.

More Pendants...

Still not feeling 100%...

but I added some more pendants to my shop today. these are really fun and there's endless possibilities.

Here they are:

Necklaces / Pendants

I wasn't feeling well today...was feeling like I had a fever, but when I checked my temperature, it was fairly normal.

I still feel icky...oh well.

I've finally listed some of the pendants I've been working on.
These are so much fun and I have gazillions that I want to do (soooo much stuff to do!)

Here are the photos and when you click on them, it takes you to their listing in my AnamanoCrafts shop.

I hope you like them!


Guess which is my favorite...
lol

I've been meaning to update you...

But I've been kinda busy.

So here they are (updates) in no particular order...ok, well they might be in some kind of order.

I sold another 3 pieces! (woohoo...yipee...yay) um, make that 4 (just happened as I was typing this...what???? Oh my Goodness (don't wake me people!).

Can you believe it?

The way I figure it, at this rate, I'll be a millionaire in .....277 years....hmm, that sounds very do-able.


Here's a couple of the pieces:

One of my "Alabama Bible" pieces, titled Judges 18;19:



and an older ink drawing, titled "Growth Multiplied":





Never in a million years would I have considered selling these before...because I am selfish and want my work for myself.
BUT
I figure, how else am I going to be able to learn the lesson of "moving on" in all aspects of my life, if I can't let go of my work (especially older pieces?)
Of course, there are pieces I will NEVER sell...because they are too meaningful to me.

Letting go of these 2 pieces is the beginning of something good...I just don't know what that is yet and I'm ok with a lil mystery in my life.

_____________

I am working on some "jewelry" pieces - more like art pendants,etc. for my anamanocrafts shop (which is feeling a little left out of the celebrations, poor thing).

I like these pendant pieces and I think they will bring a little love ($) to my "craft" shop.

OH, and I am IN LOVE with Diamond Glaze...whoever invented that stuff should be given a Nobel prize! Its absolutely magical. I got a big ole bottle of it and I'm going around Glazing everything I get my hands on (ok, so that was a dream I had this morning...where I used the Glaze on every object in my room...kinda funny and really Cool).

This stuff is gold, I tell ya....gold!!! You NEED to try it if you already haven't.

OK, that's all I have for now.
Til next time...

How THRILLED am I ????

VERY!!

This morning I was superDUPER pleasantly surprised when I received an email that I had sold
not one, not two, not three, not...well, you get the picture...
BUT
SIX pieces!

And all to one buyer (aww).

I know!!!!

And not the crafty stuff, but the Art "stuff" (which I was convinced would NEVER sell - yes, because I'm so wonderfully positive).

I am thrilled to the max (gosh, becky is she like, from the 80's?)

Here's hoping that there's more sales to come
(gotta keep them spirits lifted).

I've been trying to tame a massive headache, while preparing the work that I'll be mailing tomorrow (yipee!).

woohoo (doin' a nerdy, fat girl dance).

Jessica Doyle...Fantastic Artist on Etsy

Every once in a while I come across an artist who's work leaves me speechless and drooling all over myself.
(lol, Sorry for the visual).

Browsing through etsy this evening, I found Jessica Doyle's shop and am now feeling all twitter-pated and inspired and I wanted to share it with you.

With the bright colors and inviting textures, you're drawn in to view up close (or as close as you can through the screen) and you notice all the intricate lines and details. Through her imagery, the artist shows her great sense of humor, as well as her vision of the beautiful things that live in our world and in her imagination....Just lovely!!

Here are just a few of my favorites (um...I love them all).
(when you click on the pictures, you are taken directly to their listing in her shop).
Show her some love and buy something!
I seriously can't believe she's not a top seller on etsy! Her prices are SOO affordable.










Aren't they wonderful??
Check out Jessica's blog here

Latest Fat Girl

Just finished her yesterday (and added her to my shop today).
Wasn't sure if I should "keep going", but it felt finished once I added the flowers.
I like the more "graphic" look this one has.
Simplicity is something I find difficult in life and my art, lol.
So this was a nice change for me.

________

Here, we see that she is sitting in her favorite seat at her favorite bar.
She's downtrodden...or is she drunk? Either way her hand searches for her partner in crime...but he is gone and has taken her heart with him.





© "Fat Girl - Drinking"

My Fat Girl was featured in a Treasury....

Thank you to EclecticaMiami for including me in this treasury!





That's my fat girl at the end ^

new stuff and a sale!

RE: SALE

NO, I haven't sold anything....maybe tomorrow!

I'm having a BIRTHDAY sale tomorrow, Friday, April 11th in both my shops.
For ONE day only, you can save 20% off the listed price on all items in both shops (except for the original drawings and paintings).

If you don't quite understand how etsy works, you can contact me and I'll help you through it.
But suffice it to say, its REALLY easy and safe...so go on and take a look and see if you like anything.
My artwork is here: Anamano
My crafts are here: AnamanoCrafts

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have so many things I want to do, that the more I think about all of them, the more overwhelming it becomes.
Sometimes it seems like an impossible feat...the one I want to undertake.
But of course, all I can do is, work on one thing at a time and try to control my roaming thoughts.

Here are a few pictures of the last "art dolls" I finished.


This is "Fat Girl - My Layers" - 5 Nesting Dolls ( significance of symbols, etc. is detailed in the listing here.













This next one is an abstract design on the largest of a set of nesting dolls. I will be selling these separately. Click here for details.











More to come...soon.

Hope you enjoy them, let me know what you think!


OH, I never showed you pictures of Corliss, the Cowpenguiplat, did I?

Here he is. The last soft doll/plush (whatever you want to call it) I worked on. The story behind behind his name, etc. is here:



He's got the "snout" of a platypus...


The body of a cow...


and the soul of a penguin....isn't he cute??


♥Ana

oh hey, did anyone notice my new header in my blog?
I made it to match my Anamano store banner.

you like?

I like!

random stuff...

I've added [to the anamano shop] some of the ink drawings that were part of the daily drawing project that lasted, what...about a month? oh well, we'll blame that on etsy, shall we?

Here are a few of them:











I'm trying to re-evaluate what I'm doing here, since I'm not selling anything and feeling discouraged.

I'm thinking of making some necklaces, handmade pendants with original drawings and perhaps some of my existing imagery as well. I'm looking into materials for that to see if its too much to take on... People seem to be selling those pretty well on etsy, so I thought I can try my own versions. Will also print some of my imagery as postcards/note cards so I can charge less.

With the economy the way it is, I think its hard to get people to buy art (or maybe its jut hard to get them to buy MY art, lol).

I have a gazillion ideas and its impossible to give into all of them. Especially seeing the lack of sales.

ugh.

Have also been thinking of advertising strategies. I mean, I have been listing in different places (but NOT every day, as is suggested on etsy.) I just can't bring myself to do that. So I'm thinking of other alternatives.

I really don't want to give up so easily (even though everything tells me to do just that) so I'm trying to think of different options....but of course, one of the options that JUMPS out at me is to just give in already and get the dreaded office job again.

God, I really don't want to do that....but, we'll see what happens. I wish Miami had more craft shows. I can't find any. Maybe I'm not looking at the right sources - one more thing to work on.

ugh.

♥Ana

I bought an AWESOME drawing!

OK, so I got my tax refund (um...yay!) and of COURSE, I immediately went shopping.

The other day I came across a shop on etsy with the MOST AWESOMEST (what?.... its a word! ok, its not, but it should be) drawings, by artist Ben Minter.
Its the kind of work that makes me drool.
I wanted all of his drawings, but only got one (I'll be back, for sure).

This is the one I got (yipee!) {I should be getting it soon, hee}




I wanted to share his shop with you.....click here.

Went to the Post Office Today...

Mailed 2 things.

1- I got my first trade on etsy! I was terribly excited when leisab wanted to trade with me.
She wanted my Fat Girl - Watering Plants
I wanted her Best of the Southwest Earrings

So, her print is on its way to Canada!
She has some really beautiful items...make sure you visit her shop (and her lovely blog too!)


2- I entered a piece for a juried show at Jacksonville State University's ,Hammond Hall Gallery (in Alabama!)
The show is titled: Mini-Works on Paper, 29.
I hope I get in.
I was debating whether to do it or not, as the $20 entry fee would take me down to $0 again (ugh).
But hopefully my tax refund gets in before they cash the check (eek)

Time will tell...and I'll keep you updated on the results (wish me luck!)

________________


Yesterday I added these 2 ink drawings to my anamano shop:

wow...its been a while

its amazing and scary how time runs away from you. and for no particular reason. it just escapes and doesn't let you catch up to it.

it seems that all i ever do nowadays is reminisce and experience some form of regret.

i envy people who say, with conviction.."i don't regret anything, because everything was meant to happen", etc.
deep down, i also believe that to be true...but its the"me" on the surface that is struggling. sometimes its hard to access that "deeper" self, you know?

i use to be a person full of hopes and dreams. i've never been ambitious or greedy (i think) and my beliefs have always held me to the expectations that if i am a good person, then the universe will respond in kind and do good things for me - not anything extraordinary, just enough to keep me content...

but i've come to the conclusion that it doesn't work that way....at ALL.

or am i so jaded that i can't see the possibilities of miracles anymore?

i've definitely lost faith and hope (and obviously have no problem admitting it). is it a phase? it would be nice if it was. how does one restore faith? is that even possible? i can't see it now.

i know others have gotten through the worst of times (obviously i know that). perhaps not unscathed, but certainly stronger.


my fears are winning...they are powerful forces to be reckoned with and i don't have the strength right now to deal with any of them.

all i seem to do nowadays (apart from reminiscing and regretting) is make "stuff" that people don't want, lol.
its messed up.
i got so excited when i made the decision to do the etsy thing and now i'm wondering what i was thinking.

i know these are all things that i should probably be asking internally and not exposing it to the world (or actually the few who might read this), but i figure why hide it? i know it might bite me in the ass in the future, but...

how else am i going to get my "stuff" out? i decided years ago that the only way i can process things for myself is through my artwork and that means honesty. i can't see any other way to do it, because i am so good at self-sabotage, that if i keep it internal...eventually i will convince myself that i'm at fault and i will never resolve anything. i have to expose my vulnerabilities.

who knows, by doing it, maybe it will help someone who doesn't have any outlet for their issues.

i'm rambling, aren't i? ok, time to stop.

New Shop

I had decided that my shop was starting to look too cluttered and eclectic, so I was considering the logistics of getting a second shop.

I figured I should go for it, because the look of my shop was really bothering me. The mix of art with crafts (for me) wasn't working.

Tuesday I worked on the new shop (It was a day-long process).

First I worked on the banner and avatar, to match the existing one.



I also re-worked the banner for the first shop a bit more.


THEN was the daunting task of uploading photos and descriptions, etc. to the new shop (thank goodness with most of them, I just had to copy and paste.

Anyway, many, many hours later and a (yes, you guessed it) headache...I have my second shop.

So now I have distributed the items and I'm feeling satisfied with it:

Anamano - my original artwork and prints (more "fine art", if you will).
AnamanoCrafts - my handmade items (that fall under the "crafts" category) such as magnets, pillows, dolls, toys, cards, etc.


Stop by and take a look! Any comments or suggestions are always appreciated.

♥Ana