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Thursday, April 30, 2015

It's been a while, I know...

The last few months have been a bit of a blur.
It's been somewhat like an extended visit to hell.

On August 19th, my only brother died from a massive heart attack...he was only 54 years old.  It was shocking...still is really. 

That's when the haze started. 

It was confusing and seemed very unfair.  Our relationship was a love/hate one and I've been dealing with the guilt for that hate, lately. My brother had lots of issues, but he had a heart of pure GOLD.  He loved life to the fullest and had a vibrant personality...the kind that takes over a room.  His robust laugh was contagious.

My dad, but especially my poor mom was never the same after that.  She made a valiant effort, for me I'm sure, during the holidays.  I tried to make her happy, or at least smile during that time. She really did try.


On January 9, 2015, my mom passed away.  Not even 5 months after my brother...this was beyond shocking...
My mom had health problems, yes. She was diabetic and had lung issues, so to the unobservant eye it should have been expected.  But it wasn't.  It really wasn't.  Her mind was sharp as a tack.  Her sense of humor always on point.  She was the center of our world.  She was the matriarch.  As much of a Daddy's girl that I am, my mom was my rock.  I went to her for everything.  I talked to her about everything.  We disagreed a LOT...but eventually the storm always cleared.  She was stubborn and sometimes harsh, but loving and cute and funny at the same time.  She gave the best hugs.

To say that I miss her would be the understatement of the year.  I have always lived with my parents (minus a 2 year stint in Alabama).  Is that weird? Maybe...but I've never thought of it that way.  I've certainly had a different life than most.  When I was younger all I could think about was to move away, far away from my parents.  In later years all I wanted was to be there with them, because I knew that time was ticking...more like flying.  I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.  They've been very good to me.  I had a good education because of their sacrifices.  They worked their asses off, just for their children...that is something I will never forget.

I've felt extremely lost these past few months...depression doesn't even cover it.  I'm no spring chicken...I actually just turned 44 (talk about depressing), yet I feel like a little girl without my mom.  I use to call her everyday from work, after lunch and I still reach for the phone to dial her's so hard to believe.  I still even hear her voice in the house sometimes...

Now I have my dad to look after.  He's strong and optimistic.  This has been hard for him, even though he doesn't like to show it.  He was with my mom for over 50 years.  He lost his son, then just 4 months later, his wife. None of this is easy.

Grief is a very personal experience.  No two mourners are alike. I sometimes feel pressured to "get over it already", but my whole world has been turned upside down. My faith in God has been altered (I'm struggling a lot with this actually), life just doesn't seem the same anymore.

I have considered myself fortunate that I had never experienced this type of loss up to now...but now I know that pain.  Now I understand what others have gone through, because I'm one of them.

If you're reading this and you've lost a loved one, please accept a warm hug from me.  I don't have any words of wisdom or advice.  I can only say to be good to yourself.  Allow yourself to feel the pain and to grieve.  Do not let anyone rush you into "healing"...there is no such thing.  Only time is a healer, because it allows perspective to set in.  Be patient with yourself and those around you.  Everyone will want to say the right thing, but none of it feel right.  Get therapy if you feel you can't talk to anyone about helps.  Just take your time.

Much love...

Monday, October 6, 2014

October Pigment&Palette box.

I'm so happy with these boxes! Every month has had supplies that I actually use! I love it!!

These were the contents:
- Ampersand Aquaboard - a 5x7" clay surface board with a watercolor surface 
- QoR Modern Watercolor sampler, with a 4x4" watercolor paper.
- ArtGraf Graphite Stick - it's water soluble !
- Mono Zero Erasure - A high-quality precision eraser.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

September Pigment & Palette box

This is my 2nd box, and I've been very happy with all of them, I recommend you try them! 

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Some recent works...

Here are the latest pieces I've worked on, feel free to provide feedback! :D
Unless otherwise noted, these are mixed media on paper (inks, acrylics, marker), 9x12"

            "A" is for Abject (or apple)

           "B" is for Blinded (or ball)

              "C" is for Catatonic (or cat)

             " i AM the circus"

       "Lobotomy Jane" (ATC, 2.5x3.5")

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Artwork I did yesterday

Somewhat happy with these...let me know what you think!
Abstract, 4", mixed media
Abstract, 4" , mixed media

Not titled yet, 11x14", mixed media 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Saturday, May 3, 2014

New artwork - collage

Did this one today...I must admit that I'm in love with it!

I'm doing a few collaborative collage pieces with artist Omar Alvarez , and this is my first contribution. 

Please let me know what you think .

     "Walks alone" - 9 x 12" 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Lots of doubts...

Searching for images of other artists....other contemporary artists...well, it can be severely depressing.

I currently find myself "on a roll", artistically speaking.
I am working on a fairly regular basis now although I'm not completely satisfied with the sizes of the current works (they're small!).  I want to be able to do large pieces again and am always wondering when that will happen.  I know it will, but when?

Anyway, I am always searching for inspiration and to see (curiosity killed the cat, remember?) what other artists are doing.  Inevitably, I come across a LOT of awesome, wonderful works and I get REALLY depressed for a while afterward.

I start to feel like I'm not cut out for this...I'm too old...I don't sell anything...blah, blah, blah (huge pity party).

So yeah...I'm not feeling confident, having tremendous self-doubts...but, what's new?   (lol)

Alright, here's some of the latest pieces.  If you feel anything, please let me know (hate it, love it, don't care about it, it scares you, etc.)
mixed media on watercolor paper
 "i dreamt i was normal"
mixed media on watercolor paper
 Work I completed this past weekend...from my "ineffectual womb" series.
Each is 4"x8" (mixed media on watercolor paper)
♦I'm linking this picture to a cool artist, Omar Alvarez.  Check out his work!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I think my work definitely follows this rule, lol. Let me know what YOU think :D

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My "artist-self" is alive again!

I've been on a roll lately with the art thing.  I keep wanting to call myself an artist, but feel guilty about doing so since I haven't been able to consistently do my "work", but I feel myself coming back...

Every weekend my boyfriend and I do "art/craft" time and it's allowing me to let go and have fun again.  Also, his excitement with the paintings he's currently doing, is keeping me inspired.

Here are a few of the recent paintings/drawings I've completed.  I know...they're "weird", but they're MINE!!!  :D


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Kibbehs - Day 3 (365grateful project)

Had lunch with my honey, at a local Middle Eastern restaurant. The Kibbehs  and hummus were super yummy.  

I was hesitant because it was a packed house and I despise being surrounded by so many people...yes I have issues, lol. But he was craving it, so I persevered and we were able to find a quiet table in the side-porch area.

He has introduced me to many different types of cuisine.  Before I met him, I wouldn't have been too willing to venture out of my comfort zone. I'm very grateful he has been willing to expand my mind to new things.

I'm very lucky to have him in my life.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Dolls- Day 2 of 365Grateful Project

I've been obsessed with dolls and doll parts lately...well, not just lately.  I've always loved dolls.  But recently it's been a strong desire to create and alter them.  I've been patiently waiting, collecting bits and pieces and now I'm ready:

Today I'm grateful that I have the courage to begin this weird journey with the dolls.  I'm excited.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

"Grateful" to be back

It's been a LONG time...

I won't come up with any's just been life.

Maybe it's the start of a new year or maybe it's just wanting to continue where I left off...

I am just feeling inspired to get back to my blogging.  I miss the writing, the analyzing, the observing, the ranting, lol.  I've missed terribly the off-the-cuff expressions in virtual form.
When I first started, this little place in the world became my sanctuary.  When I felt I had no one who understood, no one to truly listen...this space embraced me.

So here I am again...

On Facebook, a friend put a link to a project titled 365 grateful....

So I decided to partake in this, as I am at a crossroads with my creativity, my depression, my everything.  I can definitely benefit from recognizing gratitude in my life.

I will take photographs with my new iphone5c (I can finally say "yay"! after a rough start getting to learn its secrets...damn these convoluted technological contraptions :) ).

#1 was:

(I redacted last names)

Hopefully, I can continue this project...

I believe I can...
I believe I need to...

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

There are few things in life that are worse than the feeling of being trapped, without a means or opportunity of escape. There's only so much of that feeling that any being can take (whether human or animal) before they snap, lash out and make impulsive decisions.

This is what I've been feeling for a while now with my job.  I don't belong's not what I'm meant to's not who I am.

I feel like a trapped animal that is being held to the back of the small, confining cage by water gushing from a fire-hose held to my face.

I feel like I'm drowning and I'm losing myself...

Yet there I am, without the ability to get out. 

I would just like to quit and figure out the rest, but that's a decision that will come across as terribly irresponsible to others:
-How will you pay your bills?
-What will you do for insurance?
-Don't you know that it's impossible to get a job nowadays?
-You're no spring chicken, you know...


Yes, I do know.
But I'm so tired.

And life is so short.

What do I do???

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

In life, you should never be afraid to take a risk...  What if the outcome can improve your life? It's worth taking even if the outcome might take you back a couple of steps and you have to regroup.

In the past I've been very good at giving in to my fears...I actually became an expert at it.

Avoid anything that might be make you uncomfortable, Ana....done
Don't think of changing anything, because you might fail, Ana...done
Stay stuck in your rut, for it is what you're familiar with, Ana...done

Yeah, I did it all.

But not is too short to live in's too short.

Last year I decided to do something about my weight, once and for all. Despite 3 months of no weight loss recently (completely my doing) I've lost 92 lbs, so far.  I'm now back on track and I believe I will reach my goal soon (or soon enough ;)).

I also decided to take a chance and "opened" myself up to finding love again.  In February I met a wonderful man who makes me laugh like no other ever has.  Perfection doesn't exist, the expectations I have had my whole life were unrealistic.  Once I realized that, the Universe found a way of bringing him into my life.  Being in a relationship is not as easy as I once believed it should be, because it requires compromise (something this control-freak finds great difficulty with).  I've discovered that I'm capable of not only compromising, but finding joy in the quirks and differences we have. 
Frustrations will be there...especially when you're starting relationships "later" in life and you're so "set in your ways" (like I am).  But half the fun of it, is figuring out how to handle those moments, learning from them, allowing myself to grow, and accepting the fact that it will happen again, lol.

My next challenge to face regards my artwork.  I've not been able to pursue my work for what seems like forever now.  This year, I plan on changing that.  I don't know when or how, but I will live my dream of being an artist...this....this is the one and only thing I've ever wanted to do and I will not waste any more time.

I'm excited about the future.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

 haiku 4 u

his hands were so soft
his feet were so supple too
he is a keeper

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Steampunk Paper Dolls

I've finished my two dolls for the "Le Papier Dolls" swap on the Roses on My Table site.

The theme for February was "Steampunk"...after doing some research and reading a little bit about it, I took out the materials that I wanted to work with and "let go" typical way of working.

These were a lot of fun to make and will be difficult for me to give up...

This is "Lady Eve" (Steampunk Paper Doll, mixed media, 2012)

This is "Inquisitor Lila Flinn" (Steampunk paper doll, mixed media, 2012)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My January BirchBox

I thought I'd share what I received this month in my Birch Box.

I got it a bit late in the month...not sure why that is, but better late than never, I say. This is a good one and I'm thrilled to bits (despite having a horrendous headache as we "speak").

For those of you who might not know what Birch Box's basically a subscription to receive beauty-related samples on a monthly basis.  It costs only $10 (which includes shipping) and you can cancel at any time.

The samples are hit and miss...although I've mostly been very satisfied with them.  In the past I've received a Laura Geller blush, a Stila eyeshadow, there's chances of getting some good stuff that I otherwise wouldn't buy.

This month included the following:
- BEFINE (Night Cream) - "Achieve glowing skin year-round with this potent cream, which smooths fine lines as you sleep". 
      *The sample size is a fairly generous 0.5 oz. (full size price would be $30). I'm looking forward to trying this I have fine lines AND I like that it can work overnight.

- JUICY COUTURE (Viva La Juicy perfume)- "This scent will bring out your inner girly girl.. Wild berries flirt with mandarin and soft floral notes to create a fragrance that's fun and happy".
      *This smells delicious!  I have always wanted to buy this, but never got around to it...always distracted by other scents, but I think this year I might partake (Full size ranges from $69-89).

-STILA (Smudge Stick Waterproof Eyeliner, in Blue Ribbon) - "It's time to put down the black liner. This colorful pigment makes eyes stand out and stays put for hours".
      *This is an awesome "sample"...although it's the full size product. This is a gorgeous color.  Sort of a dark gunmetal/blue, it's metallic, glides on smoothly...gorgeous. ($20)

-VMV HYPOALLERGENICS (Re-Everything: Eye Serum) - "Make a vow to conquer those dark circles once and for all. This anti-aging eye serum brightens and revives your under eye area" (full size is $80).
      * I am excited about this one too...I have pretty dark circles...if this works, I'd be willing to shell the ginormous price for this product.  I'll try to do a review once I've tried it.

- 'WICHCRAFT (Granola) - "This toasty granola, from Top Chef judge Tom Coliccio's NY-based 'wichcraft chain, takes care of snack cravings without any guilt." (Full size $8).
     * This is an extra item included in the box...I'll let you know what it tastes like.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Gosh, I'm struggling right about now.

I find myself shocked on a regular basis at how very disappointing some human beings are. 

Lol, this cryptic message is not going to be easily understood, because for once, I don't feel like clarifying...just venting for a minute...but suffice it to say that I just don't get how some people can walk around breathing the same air that I do. I'm not judging anyone, on the contrary...I'm trying to be a little bit more open-minded, the older I get.

Why is it so difficult to be honest?  I am filled with fear...have had a lifetime of it, yet I find myself facing my fears dead doesn't happen on a regular basis, but every once in a while I just look in the mirror and bite down real hard and just do whatever it is that scares me the most.

Ugh...I myself don't even know what I'm writing here...

I just wanted to make sure that I never abandon my blog again.  This "place" has served me well in the past, with my frustrations, ideas, accomplishments, etc.  I doubt anyone reads this, but I suppose that's not important.

OK, I'm just rambling incessantly, so I'm off to bed.

Friday, December 30, 2011

I know, I know....

Just a quick update on my weight loss...

I finally hit 80 lbs!!  Just in time for the new year.  I'm hoping that by the 1st anniversary of when I started this journey, March 22...I will have lost at least 100 lbs.

This has been one of the hardest things I've ever done...but it's been totally worth it.  I feel better physically, but more importantly, I feel better about myself.

This is a new beginning for me...a new life, full of new possibilities.  I don't plan to ever go back to that weight.  As a matter of fact, I will do my damnedest to make sure it doesn't happen.

Til next time!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

It's been a while....a LONG while, I know.

Facebook and Youtube...blame them.

But I've been feeling drawn back to my blog, my poor abandoned here I am again.

Eventually I'll update you on all that's happened or not happened since my last post.

For now, I'll just let you know that I've started a weight loss journey again...this time it's all about me.  Not motivated by external sources, just my own health and well being.

Officially started on March 22nd and early on I set a very realistic and very do-able goal of 10 pounds a month.  Despite a bit of a plateau in June, I have been successful, having so far lost 55 lbs.  I have 2 weeks to lose 5 lbs to meet this month's goal...I can do this. :D

About a month after starting the "diet" part, I started walking in the park after work...20-30 minutes.  But every time the weather was not cooperating, I ended up not being able to walk, so I decided to join a gym. I had also started doing "arms" at home (bought 1,3 & 5 lbs weights) and I do "crunches" in bed (they really work).

At the gym, I am just doing the elliptical machine and the treadmill. I've been increasing the intensity & amount of time on the elliptical...which is my absolute favorite machine, because it's easy on the knees. took me 29 minutes to complete a mile on the elliptical machine.  I'm looking forward to being able to improve that time significantly, but for now...that was actually a good workout.  I followed it with 12 minutes on the treadmill.  I don't overdo it on the treadmill, because it's harder on my knees than the elliptical, so I just use it to kind of cool down and still move a bit.

I've been doing "arms" at home doing a couple of "sets" of 15 reps...about 5 different exercises (some made up, some I found in a magazine somewhere)...mostly mimicking what I use to do years ago in the gym, using machines (hope that made sense).
The "bed" crunches are so easy to do and they're quite effective.  I've been slowly increasing the amounts I do and am up to about 2-3 sets of 30 (if I don't fall asleep - admittedly the only risk involved with doing them in bed).

OK, I think I've written too much here...but I will try to come back to update "you" on a daily basis (I can't make any promises, but I will definitely try).

Bye for now!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Recent listings on etsy

I'm slowly getting back into organizing my etsy shops. It's been difficult for me to keep it up, but if I can just try to do one project a day or every couple of days...I'll be satisfied. My life is in another transition period and I think it's going to be more challenging to have time for "me" I need to take advantage of any spare moment I have.

I'm are the recent listings (if you click on the photos it will take you directly to the shop). Any feedback would be appreciated.

3 pink butterflies           

I ♥ Trees

"Waiting in Red,4" - mini print

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Worry Dolls - for Sale [group 1]

 Update: These are no longer for sale.

Traditionally, worry dolls are made in Guatemala.  A person who cannot sleep due to worrying can express their worries to a doll and place it under their pillow before going to sleep. The person will wake up without their worries, which have been taken away by the dolls during the night

My version of this doll, comes with a stack of small paper, where you will write down your worry or prayer. You then slip it into the back pocket and forget it.  You can also just hold the soft doll while praying,etc.  I had made one for myself a while ago and thought that others might also benefit from having one.

Doll specifications:
- all are unique, as they are handmade, so no two are identical
- approximately 7-8" tall
- made with that is made from 100 percent post consumer recycled water bottles.
- this item is not a toy, therefore not intended to be used by children or pets

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

I might be listing more of these on my etsy shop, but a few people who are not registered on etsy showed interest, so I thought I'd make them available here as well.

Thanks for they are...


Friday, October 8, 2010

I'm sorry...

But there's really no point in apologizing for abandoning my blog, lol.
I did it and probably will do it again.

- I have a part time job, looking for a full time so I can have health insurance...this is a priority right now.
- Social life, still non-existent and I still want it that way.
- Art: not much lately and it's really eating away at me. I started a drawing in the car today, while I waited to go in to work...that felt really good, so I'm going to try to make that a recurring activity until I get my groove back with my art making.
- Can't think of anything else to write I'll let you go, but I will try my best to write in my blog more often...

To Do list for Friday, October 8th:
- sleep til 10:30am
- go find some "pink" accessories for a makeup look I'll be doing, as an entry for a contest on YouTube (for breast cancer awareness month).
- cook serloin steaks, with stuffed baked potatoes
- try to get just a little bit of drawing in at some point.

There, you've been updated!


Saturday, May 29, 2010

works in progress

I've shown these on my Facebook page, but wanted to share with those of you that aren't "fans" yet, lol (hint, hint!).
There seems to be a pattern with these, although they're from two different "series'".
Black and White...very little color outside of those we'll see what this all means, lol.

I've got my eggs in a lot of baskets, so I hope I can focus enough to be able to actually finish these projects.

Let me know what you think, so far!

untitled for now, freehand machine- sewn drawing and crocheted organic shape.

untitled for now, pen and ink/marker on wood

Saturday, April 17, 2010

woke up startled from a dream,
(so lucidly devastating)
i was deleting old messages,
(numbers remain the same)
i came upon your voice,
(so clear, so abrupt)
you were telling me not to go
("i made a mistake")
when was this
(how did I miss this call?)
thoughts were racing through time,
(reminiscing, forgetting)
you sounded so sad

unfinished poem

Friday, April 9, 2010

new pendants

Have started listing my new Fiber pendants for sale on my website (click on the photo to go directly to the listing)

I will be listing all of these and some new crocheted organic necklaces (so many ideas!) on my etsy shop soon, but I also wanted to have them on my website.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

excited at the possibilities...

disgusted with the results.

Well, disgust is a strong word. But I WAS sort of VERY frustrated with the creative" playing" I was doing today. Nothing seemed to be working out the way I wanted it to. Felt like my big fear had finally come true...that perhaps after a year of no creative (artistic) expression I had lost my voice.


I stepped away for a little bit from one particular project I started and now I see it all so clearly, I cannot believe it. I know this is all a bit cryptic, since I won't have a photo to show you, but I hope you forgive me for not wanting to jinx myself. I want to complete it first, then I'll gladly share it with you.

This particular project has come earlier than I expected it to. Since I thought I'd be focusing on the jewelry first, THEN I would attempt an art piece. But this has turned out to be a nice surprise, as I was "doodling" on the sewing machine and out popped this sewn organic drawing. After stepping away, I came back and stared at it for a little while and just let the thoughts pass through and one passed that I grabbed on to before it slipped into the now I'll be adding some crochet elements, eventually making this sort of a "soft" sculpture.

Anyway, I just wanted to jot down these thoughts before I forgot how I was feeling.

I think I'm coming back....I really do!


(but BOY do I make a mess when I'm working!! UGH!!!)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Handmade gift boxes

Handmade gift boxes are available on my website.
They're SO much fun to make, too...I'll be doing a tutorial soon on how to make them on my CreativeAna youtube channel soon, so stay tuned.

Monday, April 5, 2010

creativity abounds...

First...I'm sorry (again) that I've abandoned my blog. I've been so active on YouTube (even some vlogging) and Facebook that it's taken up a lot of my extra time.

But I am happy to report that my brain is on overload with creative ideas....and they're overflowing!


Creating pendants right now, but have plenty of ideas for other things. I'm so excited that I have barely been able to sleep, lol.

It's familiar territory, this excitement...and I absolutely love it.

"verdis, 9" (click photo to go to the listing on my site)

It IS stressful, because I find myself having to steal moments for myself to be able to sew and make the pendants, etc. I can't just work for hours at a time, because I have a lot of chores to do (yeah) it's not the optimal situation for me. But I'm still trudging along.

"verdis,11" (click photo to go directly to the listing)

It's quite an involved process, from creating, to taking photos, editing them, coming up with descriptions for the items, policies, packaging ideas, making sure you have enough inventory of's actually exhausting when you think about it all.

But, it's great to be thinking this way again. I thought it would never happen again. It's been about a year since I've created anything. And even though I'm focused on the jewelry right now, my brain has been giving me flashes of ideas for my eventually that will happen too.

I even have a plan for embellishing plus-size clothing, so new territory here I come!

I'm excited....overwhelmed...but loving it.

Here is the first group of pendants I have listed on my website (oh yes, since my budget is kind of low right now...I decided to list my items for sale on my website, since it's already there and paid for, might as well make it work for me, right?)

Let me know what you think!


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm allowing myself 10 minutes to ramble...

Time flies when you're having fun??

Well, no fun is being had here, but time has run past me so fast that I will never be able to catch up to it.

I thought I'd take time out of my probably self-imposed chaos to write down some thoughts in the most public of fora.

I am still undergoing an artistic block of sorts...I haven't put a single mark to paper, whether real or virtual, for creative months.

And the thing that has frightened me recently about that realization, is the fact that I'm not panicking about it. I seem to find creative release by organizing and re-arranging trees and barns in my virtual Farms (yes, that's more than 1). I have completely allowed myself a virtual existence, rather than deal directly with the realities of my current life.

It's just SO much easier to escape and ignore...pretend the crap doesn't exist. So much easier.

But every once in a while an outsider will come into view and make dealing with reality unavoidable, so I get up from my chair and go make dinner, or get dressed to go run an errand for someone else, etc.

But were it up to me, I'd be living in the middle of that little farm away from everyone and everything, absolutely's a symptom of the depression, I'm sure, but the desire is and remains quite strong for total and complete isolation.

One of the projects that I started recently, was to take all the boxes with all of my belongings, that have taken over the entire house. Sorting through each box, determining whether I can throw anything away and deciding what will go into a newly acquired storage space.

Perhaps getting rid of the clutter will help clear up my mind a little bit? Maybe I will be able to put to paper, all that is floating about in my head again? Who knows.

But my "stuff" started to bother the others in the house and now it's a necessary beast of a project to get done.

It will take me months to finish, because aside from all the other problems I have, I think I must admit to myself that I'm a bit of a hoarder. So that means there's a LOT of stuff to sort through.

No, I don't keep's not that bad.

But I see potential art supply in most things that cross my path, so I find it frustratingly impossible to throw things away that might become part of an installation "one day".

[One of the things that is on my ever-growing "to do" list, is to research hoarding in relation to artists. I KNOW there are other hoarding artists out's not just me that does this.]

Anyway, that is what I'm working on...not a drawing, not a painting, just sorting through appease others that are bothered by my artistic inclinations to want to make art out of it.

[Another thing I have on my "to do" list, is to research artistic blocks. I'm curious to know the longest block the occurred before a series of masterpieces were created by that artist. Does that make sense? It does to me, so I guess that's all that matters, lol]

OK, that's enough of a break.

Til next time

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Georgia O'Keeffe...

The movie last night on lifetime, stirred something within me.
I was sobbing throughout most of it, pretty uncontrollably at times.

I recognized myself within her. Especially lately, I have been feeling an intense longing to be free and to be that I can work. I've had somewhat of a creative block due to a bad depressive episode that does not seem to want to let go of me this time around.

I've been feeling sorry for myself, of course...I cannot deny it.

But the unseen forces that keep me in the dark, cannot let me catch even a glimpse of hope, that I might be able to actively pursue the path that will start my journey to a new life. What's that saying? Can't see the forest for the trees?? (or something like that). I know there's light out there, but I cannot imagine that even a little piece of it belongs to me.

When (in the movie) Georgia mentions that she had an 18 month period where she couldn't create, I jumped in my chair. I suppose as a former art student, I should have known this already? But it comforted me...because I instantly felt that I wasn't alone. I'm NO O'Keefe, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am an artist in my own way. The fact that she was able to restart her life, despite not really wanting to in the depths of her being, showed a courage that many will never know.

I understood completely.

I can admit to never having been drawn to O'Keefe's work, because obviously I never paid attention to her story. At that time they were just giant flowers and landscapes to me (oh what youth and lack of life experience will cause you to miss in life!)

I see now the significance of her imagery...the symbolism...her desires...her frustrations...her sadness...her desire to once and for all be alone, so she can create and leave behind her unique perspective of the world.

I understand perfectly.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

OK, I'm back...

I feel ashamed that I've abandoned my blog in this manner. I mean really, since April???
Well, I DO have a "somewhat" good's called YouTube.

I've been making videos on there and have been pulled into that world, in particular the world of makeup.


Ana getting sucked into a world of makeup?

What the hell???

Well, yes...although, if you really knew me, you would know that I'm a girly girl, always have been...always will be. And I've always been a fan of makeup, but after watching and now participating in that wonderful world on YouTube...I've become a bit of an "aficionada".

It's VERY addictive, because it's as "live" an interaction with people as you can get...outside of actually meeting them in person. It's just been a wonderful experience for me and it came at the right time, because I've "met" some wonderful people that I would have otherwise never known even existed.

So with that being said, yes...I have been making "makeup" related videos, entering makeup contests and even hosting my own (one right now, actually), making VLOGS (traitor!) so the updates about my life have been happening over there.

I promise (pinky swear) that I will be updating my blog on a regular basis from now on. I've got to also give some lovin' to my etsy shop (especially since I need the $$...hello!!).

I don't regret the time I've spent on youtube...but I definitely need to get back on track and putting priorities in order. I HAVE been updating my website, with the latest work (I'll do another post on that with pictures, next) and news, at least THAT is updated.

I have lots to say, but have to step away for a little bit, so I'll leave you for now.

If you're new to my blog and are interested in knowing more about me, then I highly suggest that you PLEASE go back to older posts and read up a storm (there's lots of info in this blog about my life for the past 3 years).

Thank you for reading and I look forward to blogging for you (and me, of course) again.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm Sorry.....SO Sorry!!

OK, So my last post was in April (time REALLY disappears faster than you know it).

I will try to update you on what's been happening since then.


- I turned 38....yeah...I STILL can't freaking believe THAT one!
- I got through the exhibit (Organic Expressions), which turned out very nicely. And even though I didn't sell anything other than 2 cards...I did it. Here are a couple of ink drawings I did for that show

©"Delivered" - 2009 by Ana B Galano

©"Precious Cargo" - 2009 by Ana B Galano